Freudian Slip Exclamations
This is going to hell in a hand-job! / What in masturbation?! / Fallopian out loud! / No shit, short-cock.
Tag: Vaginas
How to Not Kill Your Orchid, Again
Run circles around your orchid while making “buzzzzzz” sounds. An aroused orchid is an alive orchid.
What the Commercials During “Days of Our Lives” Say About You, the Pathetic Daytime Viewer
The three most frequent commercials running during Days of Our Lives, and their insulting implications for you, the lazy sack of shit on the sofa.
Why I Switched to the Tent-Based Menstruation System
That's right, women used to spend their menstrual cycle in a tent, free from all men and sanitation. After testing, I agree, it's a bloody great idea.
Hold On, I Just Want to Make Sure Our Dirty Talk is Statistically Accurate
Sorry, I hate to do this, but I can't confidently call you "the best" unless I have a control group of other guys who are strictly worse at doing that exact specific thing you're doing right now.
8 Tips to Avoid Queefing During Yoga Class
If you get stuck in a pose and you know you can't get out of it without queefing, simply stay in that pose for the rest of eternity.
6 Things Gwyneth Paltrow Wants You to Shove Up Yourself
The most baffling products from Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop website, where you'll find an array of items that would make even the snobbiest of people cream their pants.
A Loose Guide to Understanding the Vagina
All about the vagina and its associated sexual functions, including pubic hair, intercourse, foreplay, orgasms, and birthing. Welcome to Jamie's Mecca of Vagina!
Sluts are Awesome: If You Enjoy Sex, Fucking Do It!
I like everything about sluts: their slutty clothes, their slutty conversation, their slutty company...the whole slutty package. I am strongly pro-slut.
The Genitals of the Future
<p><em>Today I have for you some comedy sloppy seconds. I submitted a piece to the comedy website McSweeney's, but I guess it wasn't pseudo-intellectual enough or whatever. Here it is, you be the judge. </em></p><p><strong>The Genitals of the Future<br />by Paul Frank</strong></p>
Having Sex With My Girlfriend on Her Period
Even though my ex was constantly in the mood for sex, I willfully abstained through her first four periods. Then we hit the bloody sheets.
Queefing on Command
The ability to queef on command isn’t something you’re born with. It’s a skill, mastered only through years of dedication and vaginal exercise.