<p><em>I interviewed Julieanne Smolinski for a paper at my lame college. She is </em><a href="#!/BoobsRadley" target="_blank">@boobsradley</a><em> on twitter and writes for </em><a href="http://www.xojane.com/author/julieanne" target="_blank">xoJane</a><em> and </em><a href="http://www.gq.com/contributors/julieanne-smolinski" target="_blank">GQ</a><em>. She is also very cute. Anyway.</em></p>
Your father glares at me. I know I am invisible. A waste of time. I nod my head at him—I know. He steps aside and you fill in the space waiting.
<p><img src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx3jqx9cmX1r5cb48o1_500.png" alt="" width="467" height="700" /></p><p>I'm so ahead of my time my parents haven't met yet. </p>
<p>I joined Match.com because I had no other options. My mail-order-bride, Sveta, found a legal loophole and was able to return to her native homeland of Russia, citing my "inability to perform," which is quite ridiculous because I majored in theater at Oxford School of Drama so like I don't even get what she's talking about.</p><p>Lewis Donahue. </p>
"Watching The Help because I'm a girl. Uterus!" Are our periods syncing yet?
Just got done watching that sad movie "Rabbit Hole" and man, I haven't cried that much since yesterday, when I listened to Tupac's "Ghetto Gospel."
"Butte, Montana. LOL" For some reason I just can't grown up.
Waiting to be picked up is one of the loneliest-- finally he's here.
<p><img src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvma3dGuly1r5cb48o1_400.png" alt="Christian Slater iPhone text" title="All I want in life is Christian Slater circa Heathers." width="320" height="480" /></p><p>I have <em>high </em>ambitions.</p><p>Follow me on the tumblr: <a href="http://andsoanyway.tumblr.com">andsoanyway.tumblr.com</a></p>
<p><img src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvlfryBAeI1r5cb48o1_400.png" alt="2Pac iPhone text" title="Retweet this if you're not ashamed of you sky high iced out paradise in the sky. What Would 2Pac Do?" width="320" height="480" /></p><p>Not ashamed. </p>
Things I want for Christmas: Jeremy Sisto's voice, Leonardo DiCaprio's hair, Karen Filippelli (assuming she's still single), Gift cards, Maybe some DVDs, Robert Downey Jr.'s aura.
Okay we get it, people of facebook. Saying, "Happy Turkey Day" instead of "Happy Thanksgiving" doesn't make you any more unique than the last guy you got the idea from.