4 Times My Plans for a Delicious Roast Were Ruined Because Mario’s Oiled and Nude Body Slipped From My Grasp
I would love nothing more than to coat him in a honey glaze and roast him over a fire until his internal temperature is 145 degrees.
Tag: Video Games
I Am the Bot That’s Preventing You from Buying a PS5
Teasing you about when they go on sale and then stealing them from your virtual cart in less than a millisecond is my definition of fun.
New Video Game Patches, Now That We Here at Gamestop Are Rich
Pong can no longer be used to directly hack into the European Central Bank to amend the national debt of Slovenia and Slovakia.
Life During COVID-19 or Game of “Oregon Trail”?
In March, you say goodbye to your family, friends, and old way of life. It’s time to prepare for a rough journey ahead.
Challenging History’s “Great” Men: The Case Against Professor Oak
Oak is a whitecoat-clad stranger who entices a ten-year-old (you) into his lab under the pretense of keeping you safe.
At 31, Maybe I Should Stop Choosing My Friends Based on Whether They Have an N64
Sure, I was just a young kid back then, but I don’t really see what else has changed. Is Perfect Dark not badass anymore? Because no one told me.
2020 Election Gamer’s Guide: Boss Walkthrough
Level 1 Boss: Twitter user with American flag emoji in profile / Special Attack: Signature Retweet-and-Comment, usually in form of an OANN headline.
I Am a Dad in a Kohl’s Father’s Day Ad
I’m smiling so big because I can’t wait to bite into these steaks. Just kidding! I’m a vegetarian but that doesn’t poll well with our target audience.
Welcome to the HGTV/Marvel Universe: Design, Decorate, Destroy
Restored by Thor: With hammer in hand, Thor renovates older homes in the Pittsburgh area that are a bit out of the ordinary and unconventional.
If You Can’t Beat Rainbow Road in Mario Kart, Don’t Bother Texting Me Back
And I don't want to keep harping on the past, but there were a few times when you couldn’t even finish the race. It's embarrassing.
Bob Mueller Can’t Tell Anybody He Completed “Twisted Metal 2” in Record Time
I really can't tell anybody this part but I doubt I will ever feel a pride as strong as when I watched Minion explode in front of Mr. Grimm's bike.
Five People on Your Holiday Shopping List Who Would Want My Copy of “Timesplitters 2”
Your Rabbi: The Talmud teaches many things, but it doesn’t teach how to destroy the attack helicopter on the roof of the “Oblask Dam” level.