Weddings | Page 6 | Points in Case

Tag: Weddings

Don't dwell on your decision to crush that hitchhiker’s skull after listening to your partner suck lettuce from their molar for the last seven exits.

Explore and investigate the strange scraping sounds, trap doors in the floor, and that creepy voice that keeps whispering your name late at night.

I sent another text last night. I get that 3 AM is late, but that’s why I made all of you set your text tones to the sound of your children crying!

The anecdote of how you got the Sublime sun tattoo on your arm was, well, compelling, but my wife-to-be has never listened to "40 Oz. to Freedom."

Saturday, 3 pm --- Remembering the moment where everything could have gone differently

I will be sure to keep you updated on all the social metrics. I still care about you, and the kids (our kids), and our social media numbers.

Sophie was able to hold one of the Infinity Rings--wedding rings forged from the six singularities present before the creation of the universe.

Nazeema is currently on her honeymoon in a country that she can't pronounce or point out on a map. I can pronounce, "kiwi."

5. You Are Not Watching Gremlins Right Now, Because You Are Too Busy Reenacting Scenes from the Film with Buckley, Your Friend & Butler

Princesses are always getting smooched and we can get kisses, too! And hey, if we're going through a dry spell, a frog's not the worst option.

Ok, ciao, diary. I bet Prince-Whatever-The-Fuck-His-Name, with his funny little Prince accent doesn't even know about “ciao.” That’s Hollywood, baby.

All I can offer you is 60% off all denim-wear. So yous can getcha some toddler overalls or some jeans for any little tikes yous two may know of.