Why Your Cat Has Economic Anxiety
You're always freelancing from home, which means your cat has to watch you and dart away when you notice. So there goes her whole day.
Tag: Weird
Let Me and the 10 Demons That Possess Me Host the Oscars
If I host, the "In Memorium" segment could do away with the typical photos and video clips, and summon the deceased spirits on stage.
A Day in the Life of Timothée Chalamet’s Stylist
10:00 AM --- Drink a latte and brainstorm ways to mix up this week’s photoshoots. Order some motor oil in bulk, in case hair gel “isn’t weird enough.”
The Family Dog Would Like Some Firm Rules On What Can and Cannot Be Humped
Unfortunately, as you know, I want to rub my penis on everything in sight. I'm like 85% of men in show business: I'm a monster.
The Pros and Cons of Owning Different Pets
Small Fish | Pros: They are angular and elegant-looking. Do not require much upkeep or food expenses. Cons: You have had it 3 hours. It's dead.
Our New TaskBezos Offerings
Visual Processing (1/20th of a Second): Jeff Bezos will register a piece of visual information, sending it up the ocular pathway to the brain.
“Eat, Pray, Love” Your Festivus
“If you could clear out all the space in your mind, you’d have a doorway.” Enter the airing of grievances!
5 Reasons Why the Donner Party was Better Than Your Birthday Party
The Donner Party was a journey unlike any other in history. The best part is, they did the whole thing without fake crying or vlogging once.
10 Fun Ways to Market a House Without a Garage
Research the Community Parking Regulations: Beverly Hightower, the girl you’ve been in love with since sophomore year, is sitting on your train.
Alternative Wedding Rings for Alternative Couples
Oh, this is one of our newest and my personal favorite lines: rings made from melted-down scooter wheels
My Daily Skincare Routine, Post-Nuclear Holocaust
I don’t have to worry about sun protection because we are not even sure the sun exists anymore.
Love in the Time of Cutlery
“Hey gorgeous,” knife said to fork. That trim bastard put the cut in cutlery. “Weird night,” said knife. “I buttered some bread, and that was it."