Things to Eat Instead of Grape-Nuts®
Your own teeth, pulsed a few times in the Cuisinart. / Tiny blue gravel from the fish tank you haven’t cleaned out since your guppy, Lucy, died.
Tag: Weird
Beauty Is in the Eye of the Bee Holder
She just holds bees. Sometimes the bees sting, so she has a high pain tolerance. But the beauty stuck in her eye apparently really hurts.
Meeting Minutes from the Latest Conspiracy Theorists Group Gathering
18:04: Minutes are not approved as [REDACTED] has challenged the accounting and believes that someone has edited the minutes
Is It a Baby, a Small Dog, or Something Else Entirely in That Stroller/Reversible Bassinet/All-In-One Travel System?
While doing a forward bend in the local park, you smell… A) Doggy breath B) Baby poop C) Your name being added to a new Slack channel
I Am an Alien Colonizer of the Planet Formerly Known as Earth, and I Assure You the Sports Team We Named After You Isn’t Racist
We were trying to get to Uranus, and had mistaken your planet for our intended destination. So we started calling you bipeds "Uranuses."
What Is Your State’s Official Beverage?
Huh, the state beverage of Delaware is also milk! That’s okay. We can drink milk in more than one state!
The 3 Sleeves on My Sweater, Ranked by How Much I Really Need Them There
Left sleeve: Since my left hand is not my dominant hand, I could probably make it an hour or two without this sleeve, but it wouldn’t be ideal.
The Unauthorized Biography of Barky Malone
The book mentions a reoccurring nightmare of his, where Bigfoot would chase him across an endless plain, demanding he fill out a brief survey.
15 Printed Onesies Worn by Babies Who Will Eventually Struggle to Move Up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
25% Mommy, 25% Daddy, 25% Mommy’s Yoga Coach, 15% Daddy’s Secretary, 5% Tinder Guy Who Was Into Daddy and Daddy’s Secretary, 5% Lube, 100% PERFECT ME!
Daydreams Where I Finally Get to Use My Very Unique Skillset
“Is there a doctor on the plane? Specifically, someone with a PhD in Mathematics with a focus on algebraic geometry?”
The Unwritten Rules of Baseball
The phone is for calling the bullpen, not pranking the loser ump by telling him his wife is in labor.
Love It or Hate It, PIC Has a New Logo You’re Going to Like
A new "Bold and Juicy Look" for PIC that includes an all-caps, in-your-face logo proudly declaring, "OUR LETTERS DON'T HAVE TO BE THE SAME WIDTH!"