The Demonic Possession Kit: Test Your “Quiet Neighbors” for the Devil
Gone are the days of sitting around nervously waiting for that quiet nutcase to shoot up a public space. Now a single kit can test for the devil!
Tag: Witchcraft
Harry Potter is a Figment of Your Imagination
Kanye West, who has never read Harry Potter, seen the movies, or known the general plot of the series, has declared that Harry Potter might not be real. Agreed, I guess.
A Handy Guide to Omen-Based Investing
Have you ever wanted to start playing the stock market? Here's a list of signs to look out for in your everyday life and how to interpret them for investing purposes.
Four Tips for Hosting Rosemary’s Baby Shower
Baby shower timing is important. Too late and Rosemary may be dead after the Antichrist rips out of her stomach. Too soon and she'll have no baby bump to sport!
Excerpt from J.K. Rowling’s New Adult Book, “Barry Bowler and the Waltz of Dread”
If not for the massage therapy, Barry Bowler would have been exceptionally down. Doobie's Hair Salon and Massage Parlor was hardly moral, but definitely enjoyable.
As a Clairvoyant, I am Able to— Hey, Where’re You Going?
What, you don't believe in clairvoyants? Well, neither did I. But with this degree of authenticity from DelphiUniversity.com, I assure you my intuition is real.
Top 5 Sexiest Witches/Covens
Women have always wielded a magical power over men that can bring us to our knees, even though they often cast those spells while on theirs. Here are the hottest witches.
The 5 People You Meet at a Harry Potter Premiere
The characters you meet at a Harry Potter premiere are a one-of-a-kind bunch that risk social rejection each year to pledge their undying love to a fictional character. Much respect.
My First Hogwarts Report Card
Dear Parents: As the school year ends, we are excited to update you on your child’s progress at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
How to Conduct a Séance
A séance is a chilling ceremony where a group of drunk, giggling asshats attempt to contact spirits by performing a set of unholy rituals. Here's how to do it (most likely unsuccessfully).
Harry Potter: Why Books are Different than Movies, and Get a Fucking Life
<p>I must be a low-down, dirty misanthropist, apparently. I must hate humankind; I must stomp out rainbows and kick small dogs in the stomach. I must kill innocent children; I must cheat at Monopoly; I must steal medicine from the elderly and hate America. Why?