An Obituary Writer Attempts to Win His Wife Back
Marilyn Brewster was surrounded by loved ones including her beautiful, perfect daughter Deborah who I could make so happy if she’d return my calls.
Tag: Writing
Congratulations on Securing a Saggy Bed and Creaky Desk at Our Artist Colony!
This residency is fully funded and exists in an alternate universe where the words fully funded do not mean we give you funds.
Quotes from Arthur Miller’s “Death of an Influencer”
"Pop, I have no platform! I have no platform, Pop! Can't you understand?"
God Submits a Query Letter for His First Draft of the Bible to the Goodman & Forsythe Literary Agency in New York
We appreciate you allowing Goodman & Forsythe the opportunity to review your fantasy novel, Bible. Unfortunately, it is not right for us at this time.
Characters I Assume Are in Little Women
Tuppin Yerp - A rascal! Most days you can find him by the creek, fishing rod in one hand and slingshot in the other.
Dear Wikipedia Readers, We’ll Get Right to It: We Need Your Money
That should say “eight million." I guess you could pay somebody to fix it or—wait, we do that for free, all for the cost of a cup of coffee, don’t we?
Could You Make This Novel a Bit Blacker?
Instead of Jerrick Glitterblade, how about Jamal Kingston? A little regional flavor would add specificity to his character.
This Year’s Hottest Murder Mystery Party Theme: Who Killed Your Creativity
The invitations should allude to the theme of the evening. You could write your invitations on a spreadsheet from work, or some unpaid medical bills.
Excerpts from Dr. Frankenstein’s Lost Journal, 1790-1791
I remain perplexed as to the genesis of Igor’s strong opinions regarding the choice of which cadaver shall provide the penis.
Review Your Monkey’s Paw Order on Amazon
"I got this weird monkey’s paw from some dude hanging outside of Port Authority. I was trying to buy weed and he said he had something stronger? Lol"
An Introduction to the Major Laws of Freelancer Physics
First Law of Freelancer Motion: A freelancer at rest will stay at rest unless that state is changed by an impending deadline.
New York Times Restaurant Review: Big Terry’s Truck
The atmosphere of Big Terry’s truck was rustic Americana at its finest, from the American Flag seat covers to the Springsteen on the radio.