Early Warning Signs Your Workers Are Trying to Unionize
You’ve never had a problem casually finding out where the end-of-week happy hour is before, but people now seem to be making plans in the bathroom.
Tag: Writing
Democracy Dies in Darkness (Including in the Shadow of our Paywall)
We used to be doing all right financially, but we just blew our last 5 million dollars on a Superbowl ad during the most boring Superbowl in history.
Colonel Aureliano Buendía is Cancelled
Sorry, I can’t join your ragtag militia of freedom fighters, Mr. Buendía, I’m busy fighting to free my mind of institutionalized perceptions of truth and justice.
My Declaration of Independence From This Conversation
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all conversations are not created equal; that some are boring as hell and a complete waste of time.
Season 87 Recap: This May Be My Last Recap for a While
I went back to episode 8 in season 32: Watch Cormorant’s face when Mandeep finds Bumbalini’s pre-IPO filing. I watched it 18 times.
Ready-to-Use Instagram Copy for the Contemporary American Female Yogi
Let go. Really, just let go. The truth will come. Sometimes a fart will come. A fart is just another kind of truth. #yogaeverydamnday
17 Secrets of Clickbait
Number 10 is Just a Number Before Number 11 and One Number After 9 and I Just Relieved Myself In My Pants---See What Happens Next
The Alphabet, Ranked
10. U: Used by moms in texts across the world. And candy hearts. And Prince. I love Prince. I would die 4 U.
The Internalized Fantasies of a Queer Latino-American Boy
“I’m not racist,” I say, laughing. “The first guy who sexually assaulted me was white.”
Honest Headlines for the Unread Articles in My Browser Tabs
"How Climate Change Is Going To Make Our Planet So Inhospitable You'll Wish You Could Mutate Into A Tree Person From 'Annihilation'" —Vox
How to Imagine Yourself Running (and Writing) in a Foreign Country
Step 21: Start by googling quotes about running, a weird number of which are from the Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami.
Dispatches from the Great Thermostat War
We prevailed! We, whose skins are sensitive to the winds that whip through the lobby when goddamn Liam doesn’t shut the door—marched into battle.