Newspapers, According to Their Titles
"The New York Times" -- It’s 4:00 on Broadway. It’s also 4:00 on 81st Street.
Tag: Writing
Welcome to the Writing Workshop Where We Don’t Write
Give in to this workshop not by writing, but by taking turns asking for more condiments, plates, and silverware as I stash them in my purse.
I’ve Written the Best, or Quite Possibly the Worst, Novel Ever
It’s the very best thing I’ve ever written. Or, it’s the worst book ever typed into existence. Which one it is, I can’t say for sure.
What I Imagine Being a Writer Is Like, Based on Other Creative Fields
Thanks to the PTA and a few passionate teachers, an after-school grammar club is formed so kids like me have a safe place to diagram sentences.
Please Listen Carefully as Our Menu Options Have Changed, and Also I Have This New Screenplay Idea
For new patients, let me tell you about the opening scene. We fade in on a beach, sand caked with blood being washed away by the waves!
Six Seduction Tips So Saucy They’ll Convince Your Husband to Murder the King of Scotland
Consider swinging with a witch: The best way to do this is by mentioning that you saw them from across the bog, and you really dig their vibe.
You Ain’t from ‘Round These Parts, Are You? Best Subscribe to My Newsletter, Pard
I’ll tell you this about Carson City, pard: if’n you wanna survive on these wild plains, best thing you can do is subscribe to my newsletter.
If Henry David Thoreau Had a Goofy Sidekick at Walden Pond
"Dude, I heard you were doing the transcendental thing so I brought you a six pack and a slew of magazines of an... Umm... Delicate nature!"
A Northern Writer Writes a Southern Story
Pa was hard at work at his moonshine-still turning cotton into cotton gin. Grandpa was reading the paper. The paper was also Southern.
Other Pluralizations for Fans of “Attorneys General”
You're going to love taking phrases like "rodeos clown" and "bottlenoses dolphin" out for a spin!
Wirecutter Reviews: the Circles of Hell
Providing difficult choices among terrible options is—like with cable TV—in keeping with Hell’s overall philosophy of customer dissatisfaction.
I Thought I Was Reporting a Simple Story About Pothole Repairs—I Couldn’t Believe I Was Right
If there wasn’t something more to it, I would be pretty bored and not have a good shot at turning it into a series of Pulitzer Prize-winning articles.