How to Make a Cover Letter That’s Slightly Less Desperate than You
There are two things that all employers love to hear about: high quarterly profits and hidden treasure.
Tag: Writing
I Am Fucking Begging You Not to Buy This 2023 Planner
As you run your fingers over my spine, you think: “This is it. This is the year I get my shit together.”
Op-Ed: Should Op-Ed Writers Be Allowed to Commit Crimes?
Do opinion writers share the same responsibility to obey the law as the rest of the world?
I’m the Middle-Aged Adult Who Writes All of the Dialogue in This Teen Drama
The show would have no believability if the characters didn’t constantly talk about “flexing” and “yeeting.”
Yes, I Am Writing This in a Moleskin Notebook, Thanks for Noticing
Oh, how literary I look! Scribbling furiously in my leather-bound Moleskine notebook with a free hotel pen!
Oscar Wilde Gets a Little Lost in the Sauce
He could tell at once that this luncheon’s company would be quite dull, which was always exciting.
Hey Neighbor, Will You Please Watch Me Write My Screenplay?
You may have noticed by now I’ve not typed a single word in over three hours. Don’t be alarmed. It’s all part of the process.
Gas, Grass, or a Poignant Haiku That Makes Me Cry, Nobody Rides for Free
Goes without saying, but no rhyming means no sonnets. I don't care if Shakespeare wrote 154 sonnets; you will be writing zero in this truck.
Pig-Pen Dishes the Dirt on the Peanuts Gang
It’s the story of one man’s life of tears and anguish, obscured by a drawn-on smile and a perennial cloud of dirt.
Boy, That Guy, I Tell You
He ruffles my feathers. He overcooks my sunny-side-up eggs. You know what I mean? Really Mondays my Garfield.
The Reviews of My Short Story Collection Are Positively Glowing
“Makes you glad to have nerve endings.” — Kirkus Reviews
Writing One Cool Idea per Day in a Great Big Cool Idea Journal
February 1: Someone told me the ice cream bowl was basically just a cone. Total hater.