20 Signs You May Be Dealing with Trick-or-Treaters Who Are a Little Too Old for This Shit
"Why, back in my day, we had to walk 50 miles through the snow just to get gruel and hardtack. Got any medical appliances?"
Tag: Zombies
I Found Love at Darren G.’s Radioactive Wasteland, Southern New Jersey’s #4 Haunted Attraction
For me, a guy with mainstream sexual compulsions, the love of my life showed up where I least expected it: inside a rusty dumpster loaded with 1,000 gallons of syrupy green goo.
Ask Dracula Anything
Hello, it is me, your unholy host! I am here to answer the questions of the living, the dead, and the undead. Call in now while the moon is still full and the sun is yet to rise…
Study Shows Toddler Misbehavior Designed to Prepare Parents for Zombie Apocalypse
A study of 200,000 toddlers, conducted by scientists at Barnard College over 15 years, has determined that toddlers misbehave to prep their parents for doomsday scenarios.
How to Know If You’re a Preptard
A preptard is defined as "One who prepares in great detail for highly improbable scenarios, while ignoring impending decisions like what to eat for dinner."
How the Zombie Apocalypse Changed the Used Car Game
Good morning! I see you're looking at our selection of zombie-proofed vehicles. These certified ZUV's are very popular now and we've got quite a few nice ones in stock.
The 2016 Zombie Presidential Debate
Several months ago, one of our time machine pilots safely returned from the year 2016, and the big news is the American Presidential Debate focusing on zombies.
Top 5 Sexiest Female Zombies
To a man, nothing is hotter than the idea of a woman who wants nothing more than to devour him, along with the guarantee that she's going to swallow.
Top 5 Sexiest Male Zombies
This year we've picked a somewhat daunting monster to find attractive. As walking corpses, zombies tend not to be included very often when erotic fantasies come to mind.
My Buddhist Temple Stay Fighting Off Zombies
I signed up to do a temple stay in a Buddhist temple. Not drinking on the weekend was a nice relief, and everything was pretty cool, until some monsters woke up from the dead and started eating everybody.
Copernicus Thunderbird’s Zombie Scholarship Program
Attention zombies: Do you have the survival skills necessary to rise to the top of the food chain? Make the most of your undead life. Enroll in Copernicus Thunderbird Zombie Institute today.
A Brief Survival List for Z-Day
In an attempt to single-handedly save humanity from the impending arrival of zombies, I have compiled a survival list. Start preparing now, before you're eaten alive.