Atlanta, GA

I am Andy Sandford. I am a stand-up comic. I've been told I have a rapier wit, but I think it's the rapiest. Andy Sandford is a fresh (yet bearded) face who, while based in Atlanta, GA; has delighted audiences at clubs and colleges from New York City to San Francisco, CA, and is a featured guest on the nationally syndicated “Regular Guys“ radio show. He is a contributing writer for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, and his stand up is featured on XM satellite radio. Atlantastandsup.com voted Andy "Atlanta's Best Comedian." Creative Loafing Magazine voted Andy "Best Atlanta Comedian." He has yet to tackle "Comedian Atlanta Best." Andy is a founding member of "The Beards of Comedy," one of the country's fastest rising comedy tours who recently recorded their debut album, “Comedy for People,” with Rooftop Comedy Records. Andy also received a very respectable score on an anatomy midterm during his very brief college career. Andy Sandford is an intellectual with a spot-on delivery and a knack for sardonic observation. He has been revered by many for his exemplary writing skills, and has described himself as a whimsical wordsmith wielding a wheelbarrow's worth of witty wonderment. Andy has worked with comedy legends such as Emo Philips, Greg Proops, and Margeret Cho, among many others. One thing is for certain: you might want to consider maybe not missing this guy’s act...if at all possible.

Comedy Writing

Andy Sandford’s Guide to Dating

<p>The dating game is a full contact sport, and if you don’t know the X’s and O’s, you will never leave the bench. The singles scene is like a curling match: cold and confusing with an indecipherable scoring system…and there’s a lot of yelling.

The Land of Smaerd

<p><em>***This is a short story I wrote as a spritely young man***</em></p><p>My name is Yudna, and I am from the land of Smaerd. Smaerd is called Smaerd because it is “dreams” backwards. It isn’t all that creative, but neither is the creator of all that is in the land of Smaerd. God did not create the land of Smaerd; Dog did. It is merely a coincidence that Dog is “God” backwards. Dog is God’s Dog. He is called Dog because God is not that creative. You’ll find that pets are much like their masters.

Mollusk Spheres of Wisdom

<p>"If upon the initial attempt you are ineffectual; attempt, attempt, attempt furthermore."</p><p>"When existence administers yellowish, acid fruits of a subtropical citrus tree, produce a refreshing beverage by combining the fruit with water and a sweetener."</p>

Fat Physics

<strong>Unweaving the paradox of social interaction: Why don't fat people have more friends than the average person?</strong><br /><br />Newton's universal law of gravitation states that every object in the universe exerts a tug on every other. It's true: the laws of gravitation do not just apply to "the heavenly bodies"...in fact, it is safe to say that it is more a <em>tour de force</em> in those of us with unheavanly bodies.

Vocab Words… In a Sentence!

<strong>-"Hibiscus"</strong><br /><br />"Every morning I greet my breakfast; hello toast! wassup eggs! hibiscus!"<br /><br /><strong>-"Amorphous"</strong><br /><br />"Daddy got laid off at the plant and can't provide A-mor-pho-us."<br /><br /><strong>-"Gelatinous"</strong><br />

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