The Tell-Tale Facebook Status
I spend most of my time bored and lonely on Facebook. And for that, I now know so much about my friends that it's awkward to actually be around them in person.
Comedy Writing
We’ll Take on Obama, Man
If Obama-nation thinks he can be a dictator in the U.S. he's got another thing coming. We'll be right there to stop him. You and me, and our right to bare arms.
My First Day of School, Part 2
Before I walked in to school, I took a second to look in the mirror and reassure myself that I'm powerful and people respect me and that I was going to make the kids my slaves.
Ten Reasons to Love Each Other
If you like reading really long formulaic mediocre online comedy, dig in to this article. Or skip to the end, where you can star in an improv comedy jam in the comments!
How to Fail at Everything You Do
Just look at anything you've ever done. It sucks. You can’t talk to that girl who just smiled at you. Give up now before you get hurt.
The Gift Money Can’t Buy: A Few Kind Words
My siblings and I are supposed to give my parents something they don't have already, but this is a tough task, considering they already buy everything.