Over 15,000 funny articles by seasoned comedy writers and fresh voices. New humor articles daily. Featured | Satire | Guides | Observations | Stories | Topics | Random | Submit an Article
“Compromising Information” refers primarily to the eggnog-induced confessions that occurred around the fire pit on Christmas Eve.
Dear Megatron, I’ve been earning money from my paper route to buy smoke detectors so I can stockpile the radioactive americium.
Master: The unread text sits. Is it full or empty? Student: It is full of potential, yet empty of response.
Canyons, however, are terrible. They’re like backwards mountains, but long. There’s nothing grand about that.
Minimizing: Well, at least saying you’ve “still got it” isn’t vulgar or threatening.
In those days, the money and pool snacks seemed to flow as freely as the hose we used to spray down the concrete when some kid dropped his nachos.
See, right there, when A.J. Brown caught that deep ball! Did you feel that? That can’t be healthy.
Not enough soda // A side dish that inexplicably calls for three sticks of cream cheese
But I am not your enemy. I’m part of a much larger cosmic intelligence that knows what’s best for you.
I read a novella, and then I read a novel, and then I wrote a novel, and then I got it published.
Our nuclear plant is verging on meltdown, and the key to stability lies in our vital AWS EC2 instance managed by former employee Ethan Reynolds.
Now I can finally spend my days hoping the night creature I hear stalking through the forest doesn’t take a liking to my warmth.