Canada

David Nelson was born without a torso, however, this disability has not kept him from attending University or from advancing the cause of internet hilarity. With a mostly useless degree, Dave was hired strictly for employment equity purposes, and he currently enjoys the nicest penthouse office in the Points in Case Tower. For a mere ten dollars, he will have his secretary send out a signed photo of himself, or if out of stock, of jazz legend Thelonius Monk.

Comedy Writing

My First Day at Alcoholics Anonymous

For most people, Alcoholics Anonymous might be a second chance, a new lease on life. For me, it was a place for people to make fun of my most vulnerable physical attributes.

Birthday Asshole Syndrome

Aside from the presents, and (if you're lucky enough to be Mexican) piñatas, the main benefit of having a birthday is the right to act like an entitled asshole.

Campaign Theme Countdown

America’s bipartisan political system might be driving a wedge into the national identity, so you need to know what to put on your iPod on Election Day.

Operation Sodomize Casper

Having assembled a ghost-hunting kit MacGyver would cheerfully endorse, I staked out a position for a long night of observation, and hopefully, ghost-punching.

Languages I Hate

Hating other races is not OK, but finding amusement in their quirks is at least defensible. I know a bit about languages and I have an axe to grind with a lot of them.

Extreme Sports World Tour

All nations, with the possible exception of Switzerland, can lay claim to some retardedly dangerous activity. Here's a look at 4 of the most ridiculous ones.

The Wind in My Sales

Selling things is difficult, and it eats away at your soul like John Madden with a bag of Doritos. But, if you can stand it, sales pays handsomely.

Crock Lobster

The day will come when you, too, will have to take the mega-seafood hit to the wallet in order to have sex with your girlfriend: THE LOBSTER.

×Close