Austin

Mike Faerber attends the University of Texas along with the 2005 National Champion Longhorn Football team. He majors in Radio-TV-Film or whatever major you say after he asks, "What’s your major?" Mike rarely skips class and almost hurls every time he takes a shot. In his off time, he gets naked, complains, and dreams of being a comic. Mike is funny. Mike isn’t very funny. Mike saw his first pair of breasts at age 17. At age 19 he finally came to... the realization that boobs are awesome. He also grew a beard in his two year coma, and has formed a search party (made up of delicious snacks) for his mouth. Scientists once tried to extract DNA from his hair, but instead ended up extracting even more hair from his DNA.

Comedy Writing

Nobody Likes a Winner

<p>There. Now that all you Type-A types are paying attention, I'd like to spread some of my no-can-do attitude, really bring it down a notch. And you're going to like it! Because if you don't make it to the end of this blog, you officially LOSE at reading. I'm timing you.</p>

Internet, You and I are SO Over

<p>...As soon as I finish this blog.</p><p>I mean it, Mozilla! We're through! Gmail, get off my nuts. Twitter you @sshole, would you do... anything, for once? I don't understand how we can spend so much time together, and still have nothing to show for it. </p>

I Never Meta Blog I Didn’t Like

<p>Is it true? Am I actually blogging again? To be honest, I'm not certain what will happen when I click "publish post." I halfway expect "Internet is full, please try again."</p><p><em>*edit: my PIC blogger account is so old... that yup that pretty much happened. That'll teach me not to live in 2007*</em> </p>

Conceited Monotony

The Hard Way morphs into some sort of angry, familiar PIC tone, accentuated by sports, cynicism, pop culture, and self-reference.

Drama’Coaster of Drama

So much drama in the PIC, it's kinda Hard Way flava from your man Mikey. Seriously, someone call Jerry Springer, it's about to get ugly.

Everything But Content

So much purpose, so much humor, so much confidence...lost to the rambling, ADD tune of self-deprecation, politics, and waffling.

Verbal Purges

Sexual conquests, bar night mishaps, run-ins with the law, and various misadventures. Way too many alcohol-induced stories to bottle up.

Sex Last Night

Oops, you blew it. Another round of sloppy, hazy, drunken, but ultimately forgive-and-forgettable sex. And it won't be the last time.

The Hard On

One minute you've got a raging boner for your own humor, the next minute you're going soft over mounting insecurities. Payback's a bitch.

Working

What really makes work hard? Factors like minimum wage, disgruntled customers, lazy co-workers, and spreading your legs around the pole.

Rejection

Whether it's employment, pride or pussy on the line, the fear of rejection is ultimately what drives us all to perform.

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