Welcome to Flight #42, with non-stop service from Dunkin Brands/Boston International Airport to Paramount++ Presents The Mummy VI/Hollywood Burbank Airport.
Today’s flight is estimated to last approximately five hours and 34 minutes. Please note that this is only an estimate and does not account for delays due to external factors, including but not limited to: tidal flooding of both departing and arrival runways, polar vortex, acid smog, and other typical weather patterns. There will also likely be an approximately one-hour wait upon landing for local law enforcement to secure the passengers arrested during the flight, as well as to wait for the air quality to improve enough for the groundcrew to clear a gate for our arrival.
At this time, please direct your attention to the front of the aircraft for the preflight safety demonstration, sponsored by Fast & Furious 15: Quinceañera Drift, coming to streaming services in July.
Emergency exits are located to the front of the aircraft, over the wings, and to the rear of the cabin. All emergency exits accept ApplePay, Venmo, and AmazonMindPay. Please take a moment to locate the exit nearest you, and ensure you have a payment method ready in the event of an emergency.
Following passage of the Freedom to Let my Under Gut Go Act (FLUGGA) by Congress in 2029, we are no longer allowed to mandate the wearing of seatbelts, even during severe turbulence. However, we wish to point out that wearing a safety belt greatly decreases your chance of injury in the event of turbulence and does not suffocate you or cause your intestines to explode, no matter what you may have heard on social media. Last time we checked, we were pretty sure that the TikTok influencer known as DrGuts6969 was only 13 and not an actual doctor.
In the event of a sudden depressurization of the cabin, oxygen masks will fall from the compartment above you. These masks are specifically designed to link to your 2031B version all-variants prevention and wildfire smoke filtration masks to ensure a continued seamless breathing experience. Remain calm. Pull the mask over your face and breathe as you normally do through masks. Please note that for passengers in Basic Economy, masks are $50 extra and can be purchased on a first-come, first-serve basis.
Fighting, verbal abuse, or other disruptive activity will not be tolerated at any point during the flight, except in the specially-designated Fight Zone in the rear of the plane, and only when the YouTube-enabled camera is active to maximize live views. All other transgressions will be punished by being duct-taped to a chair in the Fight Zone and subjected to humiliating treatment.
This is a non-smoking flight, though medical exemptions for medical marijuana will be honored. Medical exemptions for emotional support animals smoking marijuana will not be honored.
Tampering with, disabling, eating, or destroying the smoke detectors located in the bathroom is an offense punishable by fines, imprisonment, and involuntary participation in the Fight Zone.
For complete information on safety procedures, please scan the QR code on the seatback in front of you to access our website (internet access required). For in-flight Wi-Fi service, please scan the QR code on the seatback in front of you and complete a brief quiz on safety procedures.
At this time we ask that you turn off all cell phones, tablets, digital watches, VR headsets, retinal screens, 11G-enabled Flavortown Mesh Potato Networks, and other electronic devices.
We know you have choices in air travel, even if they are all subsidiaries of Amazon, and we thank you for choosing to fly with us today. At this time, you may sit back, relax, and enjoy the fight.