Does hearing the word "bae" fifty times a day piss you off as much as it pisses me off? Does hearing the word "bae" five times a day piss you off as much as it pisses me off? Does hearing the word "bae" once a day piss you off as much as it pisses off? If you answered anything other than "no," then the Bae Drinking Game is the game for you!
Here's what/who you will need to play it to the fullest of your abilities:
- 5 friends
- As many obnoxious couples as you can find
- A college campus
- Antidepressants
- A fork (for stabbing)
- A knife (for extended/more painful stabbing)
- 40 beers
- 3 handles of Skyy vodka
- 1 handle of Jack Daniel's
- A buzzer from Taboo
Here's how it works:
You and your friends gather at a specific location, at a specific time, wearing nothing but t-shirts, pants, underwear, shoes and socks. You each have 8 beers, a fifth of Jack Daniel's, and have split the handles of Skyy Vodka evenly between you as well as the antidepressants and cutlery.
As you congregate at the specific location you've all unanimously chosen, you are free to talk about whatever you'd like, be it a cute girl in your Comp Gov class, your tutor for Basic Japanese, your opinion on binders vs. folders, really anything you can imagine*. After you're done talking and a sudden awkward silence ensues, the game has begun.
Head off with your friends around campus trying to find people saying the word "bae." The important thing to note is that you must also listen to the context in which it's used. For in this game, context is everything!
Here are the nitty gritty rules:
- Every time you hear the word "bae" in reference to something wrong that Obama has done wrong in his presidency, take a swig of beer.
- If someone thinks they are being cute by calling someone "bae," feel free to take 5 swigs of beer.
- If someone calls a wild animal "bae," or says that an inanimate object is their "bae" feel free to finish a beer, drink half of another and take 3 shots of vodka.
- If anyone refers to caffeine as "bae," feel free to finish your beer, finish another beer, go through half of another, and then take 5 shots of vodka.
- If anyone gets called "bae" by anyone else and then complains about it in a way that makes it obvious that they actually enjoy being called "bae" and are just trying to be cute, feel free to finish your beer, finish another, and then take 3 more shots of vodka.
- If anyone plays the song "Come Get it Bae" by Pharrell, feel free to finish a beer, finish another, and then take a shot of vodka: THIS BRINGS YOUR BEER COMPLETION TO 8. YOU ARE NOW DONE WITH THE BEER PORTION OF THE GAME!
- If you overhear a professor or faculty member use the word "bae" as a way of trying to seem cool and funny or like they are the cool teacher please… feel free to take 3 more shots of vodka. THIS BRINGS YOUR VODKA COMPLETION TO 15 SHOTS. YOU ARE NOW DONE WITH THE VODKA PORTION OF THE GAME!
- If at any time during the game, a member of the lacrosse, hockey, or football team passes you, salute them while flipping them off with the other hand and then take a shot of Jack Daniel's. This should come out to about 6 or 7 shots. This does not have anything to do with "bae" but it is a nice way to get even drunker.
- If at any point in the game or really if at any point in your life you hear someone singing the chorus to Biz Markie's 1989 classic "Just a Friend" but replaces the "baby" (that Biz brilliantly, almost ingeniously, put in there) with a stupid, idiotic, moronic, asinine "bae" finish all the Jack Daniel's you have left. AT THIS POINT THERE SHOULD BE NO ALCOHOL LEFT, BUT IF THERE IS, DRINK THE REST OF IT!
- If at any point in time you hear or see someone with their significant other say in a serious, loving, caring, or affectionate way, "I love you, bae, you mean the world to me," feel free to FINISH ALL THE ALCOHOL YOU HAVE LEFT, STAB BOTH OF THEM WITH A KNIFE AND A FORK, AND THEN SHOVE ALL THE ANTIDEPRESSANTS DOWN YOUR THROATS!
- At the end of the game, the leader of the game shall hit the buzzer from Taboo and the players will reconvene once again at the agreed upon location.
We hope you enjoy playing, and please always remember to refer to the person you love, whether it be a boy or a girl, man or woman, crustacean or amphibian, as "honey," "sweetie," or "babe."
*WARNING: These rules only apply to when you are playing the Bae Drinking Game in America, or any democratic nation. Do not try and play the game with these set of rules in countries with dictatorships including, but not limited to: Russia, China, and North Korea.