We are currently living in a golden age of comic book movies. Marvel's films are kicking ass, DC is getting their act together, and even niche projects like Dredd are starting to appear on the scene. If there has been one failing, though, it is the fact that we are yet to receive a good film led by a female superhero. When one considers all the heroines punching comic book henchmen in the dick on a regular basis, it is clear that this must change.
Here to look at eleven female superheroes that deserve their own films is our dynamic duo of entertainment reporters, Batman and Robin, as well as special guest/shining beacon of all things testicle-free, Wonder Woman.
1. Wonder Woman
Batman: Okay, well, I guess you are the most obvious choice for a stand-alone film.
Wonder Woman: It's been a long time coming, but with DC setting up its future film release calendar, it looks certain that I will finally have a film to call my own. First up, though, I will be making an appearance in Batman v Superman.
Robin: What about if Batman v Superman bombs, though, and DC decides to cancel all its future film projects?
Batman: What…what daphuq did you just say?
Robin: I mean, the film should be a box office hit, but I guess there is always a chance that…
Wonder Woman: If a sidekick of mine ever spoke like that about one of my upcoming films I would have him taken to the Hall of Justice and severely beaten for his crimes.
Batman: I like your style, Wonder Woman. Start up the invisible jet.
2. Wasp
Wonder Woman: After missing out on a spot in The Avengers, we can only hope that Marvel has bigger plans for Janet van Dyne's Wasp.
Robin: Hopefully those plans don't involve a giant can of bug spray.
Wonder Woman: Did you just threaten the life of a woman in front of me?
Batman: We better have him severely beaten again just to make sure.
3. Storm
Wonder Woman: Forget the wimpy Halle Berry version that we've seen so far in the X-Men movies; Storm is a badass warrior with some of the coolest powers ever put to comics. With the right actress on board she could easily become popular enough to lead her own movie.
Batman: And is the weather totally shitty where you are today? Because Storm would totally be able to fix that.
Robin: But it's always grey and raining here in Gotham. How come you never bother to ring her?
Batman: She doesn't accept collect calls. Just buy an umbrella for fuck's sake.
4. Cat Woman
Robin: Wait, haven't we been down this road before?
Batman: Robin, you asshole. The 2004 Halle Berry film had nothing to do with my Catwoman. It's like saying that we can't make a new film about me because of the old 1960's TV show.
Wonder Woman: Or saying that I can't date anyone else in the Justice League because I made that video with Superman.
Robin: So, I guess that means you're back on the market, then?
Wonder Woman: I consider that comment a form of sexual harassment.
Batman: Time for another severe beating?
Wonder Woman: *Nods head* Severe beating.
5. Ms. Marvel
Batman: With Guardians of the Galaxy‘s success proving that there is a healthy appetite for cosmic superhero films, there has never been a better time to bring Ms. Marvel into the fold.
Robin: Jimminy-jillikers, I forgot my notes. Who is she supposed to be again?
Wonder Woman: Four women have held the title of Ms. Marvel, the most famous being Carol Danvers. She gained her powers after being caught in an explosion with the Kree superhero Captain Marvel. She would later go on to assume his title, and fight as part of The Avengers and the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Robin: Does this mean that she could get me autographs for Captain America and Rocket Raccoon?
Batman: Only if you don't ask for a signed photo of their cock and balls like you did when we met Iron Man.
Robin: Sorry, but as a dedicated collector I can't make any promises.
6. Black Widow
Batman: Scarlett Johansson kicking ass and wearing tight black leather. Do you really need any other reasons for a film to get made?
Robin: I guess it is also important to consider things such as plot, direction, character development…
Batman: I think you'd probably spend more time considering Hawkeye's bullseye.
Wonder Woman: By proving herself in The Avengers and Captain America: Winter Soldier, Black Widow has well and truly earned a shot at a stand-alone film. Hawkeye can go eat a hulk-turd sandwich.
Batman: We could probably film that and sell the footage to Robin.
Wonder Woman: Batman, I think you just made me a very rich woman.
7. Nebula
Batman: What's blue and bald and really needs its own film?
Robin: Something that lives in Papa Smurf's underwear?
Batman: You smurfing idiot. I'm talking about Nebula.
Wonder Woman: After lighting up Guardians of the Galaxy, we can only hope that Nebula (played by Karen Gillan) gets more time on the big screen, preferably in her own movie.
Robin: I still think that the Papa Smurf movie has potential.
Batman: The potential to make me run you over with the Batmobile.
8. Bat Girl
Batman: As a member of the bat-family it is only natural that Bat Girl kicks ass.
Robin: Does that include me?
Batman: No; you're a member of the robin-family. And several websites devoted to Smurf-related fan-fiction.
Wonder Woman: Who would you like to see Bat Girl fight in a film, Batman?
Batman: It's a three-way tie between Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, and the dickface who forgot to record the season finale of Game of Thrones.
Robin: Jeez, I'm sorry already.
9. She-Hulk
Batman: Big, green and angry; just the way Robin likes his ladies.
Robin: I actually tend to prefer the shy, retiring type.
Batman: Then why did I see you watching that video of Rosie O'Donnell and Melissa McCarthy wrestling in green jello?
Robin: I don't know; why did I see you and Lex Luthor having a dick measuring contest?
Wonder Woman: What?
Batman: Don't worry, Wonder Woman, it's just a figure of speech.
Robin: You had your pants off and a ruler in your hand!
Batman: It was a strangely literal figure of speech.
10. Mystique
Wonder Woman: While she has traditionally been a villain of the X-Men, Mystique's role in the last two X-Men films have shown that she can straddle both sides of the mutant conflict, making her a very intriguing character to base a film around.
Batman: She can change her body to look like anyone, but Mystique spends most of her time looking like Jennifer Lawrence. Wise choice.
Robin: She can also change herself into a man, too, which is kind of interesting.
Batman: Interesting in a very weird and scary way.
11. Jubilee
Wonder Woman: Okay, what the hell is this, guys?
Batman: Seriously, Robin, if you don't have a good explanation for putting Jubilee on the list, I'm going to call Superman up to come and give you a severe beating, because I'm feeling kind of tired and really can't be bothered doing it again.
Robin: I just kind of like her, that's all.
Batman: And what exactly is it that you like about Jubilee? That she's the most useless member of the X-men ever? That she wears a giant yellow raincoat and pink glasses?
Wonder Woman: That she has no special powers beyond those of a $10 magician?
Robin: She said that if I put her on the list she'd get me an autographed photo of Wolverine's cock and balls.
Wonder Woman: Really Robin?
Batman: Really?
Robin: Okay…Professor X's cock and balls.
Wonder Woman: Annnnnnnnnnnd now I remember why I chose not to have a sidekick.
Tune in next time, for when Batman and Robin discuss which Game of Thrones characters they'd totally do!
All articles in the “Batman and Robin” series:
Batman and Robin Discuss 2014's Biggest Upcoming Films
Batman and Robin Debate Comic Con's Top 10 Moments
Batman and Robin Discuss the 10 Highest-Grossing Films of the 90's
Batman & Robin Discuss 11 Female Superheroes Who Need Their Own Film