With down-on-their-luck characters and triumphs of the human spirit serving as inspiration for many of his hit songs, Bruce Springsteen is universally considered the poet laureate of the working class. But perhaps the most famous thing about the Garden State native is his prolific (and frankly, flagrant) use of the word “daddy.” Fans may call him “The Boss,” but to me, he is “The Daddy.”
Here are The Daddy’s best songs, ranked in order of how flagrant The Daddy’s use of the word “daddy” is.
“The River” — I come from down in the valley, where mister when you’re young, they bring up to do, like your daddy done
Utilizing the D word to represent a bonafide sperm-shooting life creator is somewhat unusual for Bruce. He most often uses it synonymously with “cool guy.”
For instance, if I were going to tell you about my weekend, I’d say, “Daddy went down to the Flannel Emporium, but accidentally hypnotized himself by staring at the gingham patterns on the shirts for too long, leading him to ask the cashier to have an emotional affair with him.” See? Nothing to do with paternity at all. Just a cool guy doing something cool.
“Promised Land” — Working all day in my daddy’s garage, driving all night chasing some mirage
This lyric has always hit home for me, because I work all day in (collect revenue from) my daddy’s garage (trust fund). Though I’ve never worked in the service industry nor do I know anyone who has, I know that, like all jobs, the head honcho is the daddy—for what is a daddy if not the boss of a family?
And I got an earful from the Flannel Emporium Daddy after the cashier ratted me out (even though it was literally their gingham pattern that manipulated me into wanting to do emotional infidelity). Maybe if their gingham weren’t so ornate, or if my wife didn’t gaze upon our live-in carpenter Chet with eyes of admiration that never fall upon me, the Flannel Emporium Daddy would have been more understanding.
“Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) ” — So hold tight, baby, cause don’t you know, daddy’s comin’
Every time I’m on my way home, I text this exact phrase to my wife. She usually doesn’t respond, but ever since last week when I came home early from the Flannel Emporium only to find the doors locked and my wife engaged in what she would later describe as “a carpentry workshop with Chet,” she’s asked me to give her a heads up when I’m en route.
If “daddy” is interchangeable with “cool guy,” then Chet is no daddy at all. He’s always showering in my wife’s bathroom and drinking all the yellow Gatorades that MY trust fund dollars pay for. Anti-Daddy behavior, if you ask me.
“I’m On Fire” — Hey little girl, is your daddy home?
With this line, Bruce opens his steamiest song. And it’s catchy, too! I don’t often see eye to eye with the Anti-Daddy, but when my wife and Chet are in the midst of a wood-working session and I hear this song coming from her bedroom, I gotta hand it to Chet; he’s got good taste!
But just so we’re clear, I’m not an idiot—sexy music coming from my wife’s room could be suspicious. So I let my stones hang low like a daddy’s and straight up asked my wife if she’s having an emotional affair. To my relief, she told me she’s not having an emotional affair with Chet. She really emphasized the word “emotional,” which I think was a good sign.
“Born in the USA” — I’m a cool rocking daddy in the USA
Damn if that line doesn’t just say it all. It’s not easy to feel like a cool rocking daddy when your wife is withholding intimacy from you in order to share it with another man. But with the mystery of my wife’s infidelity solved, I can once again rock like a daddy.
I once thought that putting the Anti-Daddy under the same roof as the Daddy Supreme would cause a cataclysmic event that would destroy the world, or at the very least, my marriage. But what it actually created was a rock solid friendship between myself, my wife, and the man she goes on vacation with.
And if that’s not the cool rocking daddy mindset, I don’t know what is.