“I endeavor to apply in all things my principles of observation and deduction. Any puzzle may be solved by one who is patient enough to gather the relevant facts and rigorous in the conclusions he draws from them. It’s a bit of a Chicago thing, actually; you’d probably get it if you were from Chicago.”

“This is my friend, Sherlock Holmes. He’s from America.”

“Not just America, actually. I’m from Chicago.”

“Holmes, how could you possibly not know the Copernican theory? Even children know that the Earth revolves around the sun.”

“I don’t really keep up with things that happen in the suburbs.”

“The victim was stabbed several times in the upper and mid torso, then left to die in Millennium Park underneath The Bean. That’s what we Chicagoans call Cloud Gate. Just a little joke you might not get if you haven’t been to Chicago.”

“I believe that Mr. Lefevre is the murderer!”

“You have already deduced that?”

“No, but he’s from New York, so he’s got to be up to something.”

“This is my friend, Sherlock Holmes. He’s from Chicago.”

“Well, technically, I’m from Lakeview. It’s one of the areas in Chicago.”

“Eureka, Watson! I’ve done it!”

“What is it, Holmes? What have you found?”

“I’ve created a third style of distinctive, Chicago pizza!”

“Come to me immediately. Take neither the first nor the second bus which presents itself. Not because Moriarty has men on them trying to kill you. Chicago public transit is just complicated like that.”

“A murder has been committed here.”

“But Holmes! How could you possibly know?”

“It’s Chicago. That’s a pretty safe bet.”

“Elementary, dear Watson. Pulaski Elementary. That’s a school, in Chicago.”

“Nothing is more important to a well-regulated mind than a strict devotion to logic. I must remain logical in all things.”

“But Holmes, you root for the Chicago Bears.”

“They’re gonna take it all this year. Go Bears.”

“It is important to curate carefully the information which you store in your mental attic. After a certain point, any new fact which you learn will inevitably lead to another, perhaps far more vital one, being forgotten.”

“But Holmes, you must have at least heard of a city called Los Angeles.”

“No, it means nothing to me.”

“Then, there is the curious incident of the celery salt on the hot dog.”

“But Holmes, there was no celery salt on the hot dog.”

“That is the curious incident.”

“This is my friend, Sherlock Holmes. He’s from Lakeview.”

“Well, specifically, I’m from 222B Baker Street. Have you ever been?”

“Observe this man, Watson. His pronounced suntan, as well as the European branding of his clothing and his distinctive Barcelonan gait allow me to determine with absolute certainty that he is not from Chicago.”

“Astounding! What else can you deduce about him?”

“Why would I want to know anything else?”

“Moriarty is the Napoleon of crime, Watson. He is the organizer of half that is evil and of nearly all that is undetected in this great city. He is a genius, a philosopher, an abstract thinker. He has a brain of the first order. He sits motionless, like a spider in the center of its web, but that web has a thousand radiations, and he knows well every quiver of each of them. He does little himself. He only plans.”

“He’s from New York, isn’t he?”

“I would die to destroy him, if it were necessary.”