Wait, what?
We’re getting married inside an active volcano! Exact geolocation to be determined based on unpredictable seismic activity.
You’re not really getting married inside an active volcano, are you?
We know choosing an active volcano for our destination wedding sounds kind of crazy! But love is crazy, and we’re crazy in love. We're so excited to celebrate the ever-burning, liquid-hot devotion and commitment we feel for each other in this unique and personal way.
Will transportation be provided?
Everyone is responsible for their own transportation to and from the volcano. And yes, you will have to climb up and into the crater yourself. Please don’t touch the lava or you’ll die. Please don’t breathe in too much ash or you’ll die. And please please please don’t be late, or we’ll kill you. Just kidding! But we’ll be on a really tight schedule to time our vows with the pyroclastic flow.
Will guest accommodations be provided?
Everyone should plan to stay inside the volcano, because we’re not quite sure how to get out of it. Certain sections that are least likely to interact with the magma have been set aside for our family and wedding party. Everyone else should be flexible and seek out the safest parts of the chamber they can find (availability is limited!).
What is the cost of staying at the volcano?
If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. Kidding again! But seriously, start saving. Our wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and it will quite possibly be your last life experience, as well. Some costs are known, such as the sherpa fee and the fine for trespassing on government property. Other costs are harder to estimate, such as those associated with the search and rescue crew whose attendance will inevitably conclude the weekend.
What will the weather be like?
The weather inside active volcanoes is generally very hot. Pack whatever you’ll need to be comfortable at over 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit.
What is the dress code?
Black tie, of course.
But won’t we need special equipment? You know, given the temperatures you just mentioned?
Imagine how ridiculous our photos would look if everyone showed up in head-to-toe heat gear. Like we said, the dress code is black tie. End of story.
Am I allowed to bring a plus one?
We’re at capacity for the volcano’s lava chamber which means we are sadly unable to accommodate additional guests. Besides, this is really more of a minus-one event as many guests are expected to perish.
Are kids welcome?
We’ve been told by our Volcano Coordinator that any kids who enter the volcano will undoubtedly die. And we don’t want combusting children to disrupt what is really meant to be a special, adult moment. So, leave the kiddos at home where they can play “the floor is lava” instead!
You’ve been alluding to death a lot, what is the risk of dying?
What is the risk of loving another, perfectly imperfect human? What is the risk of giving yourself to someone until death do you part? What is the risk of living life to the fullest by attending our destination wedding inside an active volcano? Life is full of risks. To answer your original question, the risk of dying is quite high. It’s almost guaranteed. But the risk of dying in your lifetime is 100% anyway, so just think of this as akin to that.
Will there be food?
Don’t come hungry! It’s a volcano.
Is there a gift registry?
Your presence is a present. But also, yes, we absolutely have a registry. We’re registered at The Knot, Bloomingdale’s, the Smithsonian Institute’s Global Volcanism Program, and preemptively, the Cedars-Sinai Severe Burn Victims Unit.
Ok, due to a sense of crippling obligation, I’m in. Can I RSVP online or should I mail in an RSVP card?
Actually, neither! Enclosed in the invitation suite, you should have received two branding irons and a titanium jar of piping-hot lava. Please dip either the “Yes!” or “No“ iron into the lava and stamp your RSVP on your forearm. Send our Volcano Coordinator a photo of your scar and she’ll put it in our tracker. We can’t wait to see everyone’s swollen scar tissue on the big day!
What if I have more questions?
Feel free to send us any additional questions via smoke signal but also, please know that we are overwhelmed by the consequences of our own choice to have a destination wedding inside an active volcano and will be resentful at having to respond to any inquiries. We can’t wait to stop the world and melt with you!