- Don't panic! This has happened before, and unless you find a cure for this ancient blood-curse, it will happen again. Above all remember, you are not your condition.
- Try not to draw attention to the coarse hair sprouting from the backs of your hands or the ragged claws growing where your fingernails should be. As a matter of fact, it's probably a good idea to refrain from talking with your hands altogether.
- If your fangs have started to grow, hold a kerchief to your mouth. A monogrammed handkerchief will not only keep your child's teacher from seeing your ever elongating lupine snout, but they may think it classy that you carry such an item.
- Educators, by nature, love to help people. Unfortunately, this is extremely inconvenient for someone cursed to shuck off their oily human husk monthly in search of unwitting victims. Should your child's teacher rush to your aid concerned with your stomach cramps and flop sweat, politely tell them that you must have contracted food poisoning.
- Should you be unable to retrieve the shackles of consecrated silver from your handbag, attempt to excuse yourself as politely as possible while the moon is hidden behind a cloud.
- You may be tempted to explain your “situation” to your child's educator. DON'T. These poor souls are too underpaid and overworked to listen to your tale of a hunting trip gone violently awry, date gone violently awry, or late night trip for fro-yo gone violently awry.
- Upon exiting the classroom, refrain from shouting “Get away, or you'll be next!” It is important for you to be sensitive to your child's needs. Navigating the social structure of school is difficult enough without one's parent being thought of as deranged.
- If you cannot make it home to your reinforced “Doom Room”, attempt to run toward the nearest forest or wooded area. There, safe within the womb of trees and shrubbery, you should be able to transform in private without fear of others discovering your unpleasant burden.
- In the end, one should plan ahead. It would be best if your spouse attends the conference solo or, if you are a single parent, ask if your child's teacher can reschedule the conference to a night when the moon isn't hanging heavy in the sky. Should your child's teacher ask about the embarrassing event, a simple mention of the word “diarrhea” should put an end to any further inquiries.
- Remember, above all, that this is about your child's future. A future that hopefully includes a happy fulfilling life and not waking up naked and scared next to a neighbor's eviscerated labradoodle.
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