Well, that was exciting wasn’t it? That video of a plane on a windy day. It really looked as if the plane wouldn’t land didn’t it? But then it did land! Just like the other, let’s see, 56 videos you’ve watched this evening. 56 videos of planes looking like they might not land, but then landing.
I mean, that’s fine isn’t it? I cost $1500, I’m considered to be the best laptop on the market right now, and it’s not like you only used me to watch 55 videos of planes looking like they might not land, but then landing, you watched 56 and, you know what? I think that if you really try, I mean, if you really put your back into it, you could end up watching 60 or even 70 of these videos before you have to go to bed.
You could have just used your phone to watch those videos, couldn’t you? But my screen is so much better for watching videos isn’t it? Bigger, brighter and sharper. You know what else my screen is good for? Text. I mean, my god, you can’t imagine what text looks like on my screen. Just a white background, black text—it’s a real pleasure to look at. Even more so than, and I don’t say this lightly, but even more so than videos of planes looking like they might not land, but then landing.
You could give it try. Just click on that link down there. That one with the little pen on it, that opens Pages, that’s a word-processor app that you could use to–
Or you could just watch another video of the plane. Ooh, look, there it goes, oh it’s a bit windy and rainy, oh no, I wonder if it’ll land or not, oh the suspense, oh whatever will happen, oh it’s so exci–
There, it landed.
So, anyway, this Pages app, you know you can use it, not just for reading text, but also actually writing text. Yeah, that’s right, writing, you know that dream you had–
No, it’s fine, no you just watch another video of the plane. I guess you’ve had a really difficult day at work, what with Jeff and all that business with the spreadsheet. No, you need to relax with some videos of the planes not actually crashing there.
Ooo, wow, that one really didn’t quite crash, did it? Brilliant.
You know what else might take your mind off your day at work? Writing. You know, your hobby? You could do a bit of writing. It might even be even more distracting and relaxing than the planes.
You remember that day, in the Apple Store, you came in and talked to that nice man with the beard. You said you wanted to buy a really good laptop because you wanted to seriously focus on your writing. You remember? Maybe I missed it, and I might have done because I’m just a laptop, but I don’t remember you saying that you wanted to buy a new laptop because you really wanted to watch a load of videos about planes nearly not landing. I’m not sure he’d have given you that cute smile, that one where he looked pretty impressed with the fact you were a writer, I’m not sure he’d have given you that smile if you went, “Hi, I’d like to but a really good laptop to watch planes nearly not land properly.”
Obviously, nothing wrong with spending the evening watching videos of planes landing. Nothing at all. It’s totally fine. It’s just if I’d bought a really good laptop, which would be morally weird, but if I had, I would use it for other things than just videos of planes, like my hobby of writing, that’s all.
Oh. Yes. There you go, yes. Open up Pages, great. That’s great, you’re finally using me for–
Wow. Not hanging around there are you, straight in, typing. Writing. Very impressive stuff. What are you–
“Dear Sir/Madam, can I suggest that you film your videos of planes in 4K, because I’ve just bought this new laptop and 4K videos will really utilize its hi-definition screen…”