Game of Thrones and the initial Avengers franchise are both over, which means the monoculture is now officially dead. Or does it? Maybe it just means there is now a golden opportunity for other things to step up and become the new monoculture. Here are some top candidates:
Cheers
This show was insanely popular when it originally aired, so why not just throw season one back on Thursday night NBC and assume audiences will embrace it once again with equal fervor? It’s not as if people don’t like drinking anymore.
Philadelphia Controller Rebecca Rhynhart
She was the first woman ever to be elected to this position, and her office just released a report last year showing that Philadelphia’s cash balances were at a 10-year high. How the entire country is not already obsessing over the every move of this trailblazing politician in the sixth-largest city in America is way beyond us.
Bethpage High School soccer team
The Golden Eagles have a ton of talented, likable players, and they’re good enough to have a realistic shot at winning states this year but not so good that they feel like an inevitable choice, so they’ve still got a little bit of that underdog appeal to them. Plus, one of the players is trying desperately to live up to the legacy of his older brother, who was due to go pro before losing his life in a tragic skiing accident, so the potential for entertaining drama is sky high.
Your children
They’re amazing. And perfect. Much more amazing and perfect than anyone else’s children. As such, they deserve more attention than anyone else’s children. A lot more.
Complaining about the Game of Thrones finale
Just because the show itself is over doesn’t mean everything related to it has to be over, too. HBO can just start airing a new show on Sunday nights dedicated to Game of Thrones fans complaining about the finale, as well as the last season in general and George R.R. Martin’s inability to finish writing the series. If internet comment sections are any indication, this will quickly prove to be far more popular than the original show.
Staring at your fingernails before leaving for work in the morning and going back and forth on whether or not they’re long enough to cut yet, eventually deciding that you can let them grow for another day or two because you’re already running a little late, and even though cutting your fingernails wouldn’t take that long, you should really just get going
Everyone has done this at some point, right? So, you know, let’s talk about it more.
Aja
Such an underrated Steely Dan album. “Deacon Blues” and “Peg” as back-to-back tracks? It’s a crime this hasn’t been the linchpin of the monoculture since its 1977 release, frankly.
Wanting to visit Australia but not having enough time or money
If there’s one thing that can still unite Americans in these fractured times, it’s a general feeling that, yes, Australia would be a pretty cool place to visit, but there’s no way you’re going to be able to take enough time off of work anytime soon to make such a long trip worth it. Plus, the plane tickets alone would set you back at least a grand. It’s probably easier to just rent a lake house in the Poconos again.
Marvel movies
Avengers: Endgame has made, like, $820 million dollars. It’s not as if they’re going to actually stop making movies for a franchise that earns that kind of money, especially given that there’s already another new “Spider-Man” flick due to come out in a few months.
DC Comics movies
Nah, just kidding. These have generally been pretty bad.