The streaming business has exploded this year with the launch of huge brand-name platforms like HBO Max, NBC Peacock, and Disney Plus, so it was only a matter of time before other companies decided to hop on the subscription content bandwagon. Here are a few other brands trying to get in on the action by launching their own streaming platforms this year:
Yankee Candle — “Slow Burn”
Yankee Candle has created a relaxing line of unchallenging narrative content based on tried-and-true storytelling formulas to help you unwind using the healing principles of video-therapy. Put a Yankee Candle procedural on in the background and let the stock characters and soothing storylines melt your stress away. Now you can hearken back to the comforting lawyer shows that helped you pass out on the couch back when your kids were still living at home with our full slate of original tag-team legal duos, including: Balsam & Cedar; Sage & Citrus; and Tangerine/Vanilla.
WARNING: To prevent serious injury, never leave these shows streaming unattended.
Mercedes-Benz — “The S-Class Streamer”
Mercedes-Benz’s streaming platform was built, designed, and engineered with only one mission in mind: to be the absolute best. Streamlined navigation interfaces. Premium content displays. Leather interiors.
It’s already been named JD Power & Associates “Entertainment Provider of the Year” seven years running—and it hasn’t even launched yet. And now, you can test-drive any of our seven S-Class content plans for one month free, plus zero down and zero APR, starting at just $34.95.
Mercedes: you’re lucky we’re letting you use our thing.
eHarmony — “Perfect Match”
Other streaming services just sign you up and throw shows at you to see what sticks. At eHarmony, we match you with your content on the deepest levels using our 96-point compatibility matching. Just complete our questionnaire and we’ll find the programming that’s perfect for you with patented questions like, “Do you see yourself sticking with a complicated fantasy world for eight full seasons?” “If someone else watched an episode of this ensemble comedy without you, how pissed off would you get?” and “On a scale of 1 to ‘Yas, Queen,’ how much do you live when that tea is spilt, henny?”
So try eHarmony today, and give yourself a chance to end up like Sarah and Ian: still madly in love with your content after more than four years.
Jennifer Convertibles — “Jennifer Bingeable”
The new streaming service from the iconic sofa-bed retailer offers you the perfect balance between choice and affordability. Our extensive content selection showcases original programs in a wide variety of styles, including: traditional comedic, contemporary drama, craftsman colonial, Art Deco flair, and cutthroat reality singing competition.
And you’ll love our charmingly rustic platform interface, including a “Keep Watching” button that can be displayed in maple, walnut, cherry, or Spanish. Plus, your subscription can extend from 2 to 4 accounts depending on the needs of your space and features a handsome cloud-based storage unit where you can stow old content. And now, when you sign up for the JustJennifer credit card, we’ll give you 60-months special financing so you can style your home with the handcrafted content you love today.
Subject to credit approval; many, many, many restrictions apply.
Humira — “Humira TV Plus”
If you’re suffering from moderate to severe Content Malaise, and haven’t gotten the relief you need from other streaming platforms, talk to your internet service provider about Humira. Its new platform can help get and keep your moderate to severe Content Malaise under control.
That’s because Humira’s algorithm works differently: it directly targets shows that annoy you when scrolling, eliminating them from your home screen display without affecting your underlying favorites. That way, you can experience more days without the debilitating symptoms of guilty indecision and excessive choice.
Always talk to your internet service provider before activating a new streaming service, and know that Humira’s streaming platform can lower your ability to fight infections, including Unsatisfying Series Finales, Beloved Character Write-offs, and Tuberculosis.
With Humira, Control is Possible. And so is getting tuberculosis.
Chicago O’Hare Airport — “Gate-Side”
For the first time, O’Hare will make it possible to stream the best of airport TV anywhere, anytime. Yup, that’s right: we purchased the exclusive rights to the entire back-catalogue of everything Wolf Blitzer has ever done on CNN.
You’re welcome.