Hi Jess,

Thank you again for throwing a truly awesome party yesterday!

I had such an enjoyable time as did everyone else who attended. Your homemade Red Velvet cake was nothing short of a sensation!

One small point. There may be a misunderstanding re: the jar I “couldn’t” open. I’m not sure if you are aware that my hands were a little wet when the pickle jar was passed to me. After a predictably futile attempt opening the jar with wet hands, I gave the jar to Taylor. I was then about to dry my hands before reclaiming the jar and opening said jar. Before I could do so, Taylor opened the jar. In the moment, I’m not sure all that was clear.

Please pass on my best wishes to your wonderful family.

Kind regards,

Jim

Hi Jess,

You are very welcome. People will be talking about the party for quite some time.

Perhaps Kate and I could share a meal with you and Andy some time soon. It’s been too long!

Sorry, I certainly didn’t intend to give you the impression that the “jar incident,” as you put it, was a big deal. I just thought it was best to set the record straight. It was probably not clear that my hands were a little wet.

Yes, I am aware that Taylor is 11 years old. I don’t think that is relevant. It could even be said that his small hands were better suited to gripping the pickle jar lid which itself is on the small side.

I’m just glad we could set the record straight on that insignificant matter.

Kind regards,

Jim

Hi Jess,

Again, I’m really not making a big deal of this.

No, I’m not insecure. If anything, the strength of my hands is well above average, possibly due to my job. I also have very supple wrists and am able to apply a surprisingly large amount of torque in either a clockwise or counter-clockwise motion.

After a little research, I cannot find any established measurement for hand strength. But let’s imagine there is such a system and call it the General Register Index of Palm Strength (GRIPS) and that general hand strength is measured on a scale of 0 to 10, with 10 being the strongest. I would put myself at a 7. Maybe even an 8. That’s not me bragging, but a genuine attempt at assessing my hand strength.

Also, I’m pretty sure I loosened the lid.

Anyway, I’m confident that removes any doubts you may have had.

Regards,

Jim

Jess,

1) Yes, I am well aware that I work as a Mail Delivery Associate. Trust me, handling hundreds of packages each day can take a toll on the hands and wrists. Many of my colleagues have taken time off work with hand related maladies. Not me. I have zero issues with hand strength. Zero.

2) You are focusing too much on the “loosened the lid” argument. The main thrust of the reasoning is “wet hands” coupled with my indisputable above average hand strength. I’m happy to completely ditch the “loosened lid” angle, even if it is very valid.

3) I’m aware that I just invented the GRIPS system, but that was only since there is no pre-existing measurement scheme.

4) Again, I know Taylor is only 11 years old. And a very weedy 11, it should be said.

I trust this is the end of the matter.

Jim

Jess,

Okay, I overstepped the mark a little in calling your nephew weedy. I retract that. I hope he enjoyed his birthday party.

Since this matter seems to be causing you some consternation, I propose a simple test.

A third party (to be referred to hereon as the Selector) will compile a pool of twenty boys aged 10 to 12 years of age. From this pool, you and I will each choose four boys. We will also have one veto each, to strike one boy from the other’s selection.

The Selector will also procure twelve jars of the same Mr Pickle’s Zingy Party Pickles.

The Selector will then choose at random a boy from the already compiled list of six boys. That boy will attempt to open a jar (one try), and I will attempt to open another identical jar (also one try).

If all jars are opened, we could continue with additional jars until someone fails, like they do the penalty shootouts at the Soccer World Cup.

I put it to you that I will open more jars than the boys.

In fact, I will most likely open ALL of my assigned jars. Even though I will be opening multiple jars and each boy must open only one jar each, so hand fatigue could be an issue. I still guarantee winning this challenge, that is how confident I am.

Jim

Jess,

I’m not sure if you received my last email. Please let me know if not.

Next Thursday is good for me.

Jim