So your mom got a boyfriend and that boyfriend is Pete Davidson. Your mom is a lucky lady. I understand that seeing your mother date the King of Staten Island can be awkward at first, but as she wades back into the dating Pete Davidson pool, she is going to need your support. This is an important stepping stone that your family will have to navigate together and I’m here to help. Below are the answers to some questions you might have during this exciting, but atypical time.
Q: Are Mom and Pete Davidson in love?
A: It’s important for families to be honest with one another every step of the way. It’s safe to assume that if she feels confident enough to introduce you to Pete Davidson, she has probably developed fairly strong feelings.
Q: Do I have to call Pete Davidson “Dad”?
A: No one will ever replace your biological father. You’ll still get to see him from time to time, but Pete Davidson will be around to keep your mom company. She can get lonely and it’s only natural for her to seek the companionship of Pete Davidson. However, your mom doesn't want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable at all. So for now, you can call him Pete Davidson.
Q: Is Mom sick of me and that’s why she’s seeking companionship in the arms of comedian/actor Pete Davidson?
A: Let me be extremely clear when I say this: not at all. Your mother could never get sick of you and she loves you very much. It was just a matter of time before your mom and Pete Davidson found each other. I’ll put this in terms you’ll understand. Imagine the hottest boy in your school. Pete Davidson is like the hottest boy in school, but in this case, the school is the planet Earth. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, but your mom finally has the chance to date Pete Davidson and she’s not going to let that pass her by.
Q: What are Pete Davidson’s intentions with my mom?
A: I’ll be honest kid, he’s going to rock her world. He’ll ruin other men for her and do so with a shy smile and a witty remark.
Q: Will Pete Davidson teach me how to tie a tie?
A: Sure, that’s a great idea. Why don’t the two of you take mom’s iPhone and look up YouTube tutorials on how to tie a tie together while mom’s at work? This will be a good way for you to bond. You’ll really like Pete Davidson once you get to know him.
Q: Is Pete Davidson going to leave Mom someday?
A: Yes, but this is no reason to be sad. Thus is the way of the world. Pete Davidson is a firefly who mustn’t be trapped within the glass jar of monogamy. If you love something, let it go. Your mother has fortunately snatched him up for now, but one day she will release Pete Davidson back into the night of New York City.
Q: Are Mom and Pete Davidson going to make me a little brother?
A: Yes.