Hello everyone and welcome to the Pasadena drone light show! With over 3,600 individual drones, we are able to create scenes with unmatched levels of detail, making the night sky into a movie screen! Without further ado… Let's start the show!
We start tonight, with a scene of rolling hills littered with live oaks. We’re at the founding of Pasade–
Oh God. I’m sorry folks. Sometimes they do this.
The drones get in an uncooperative mood and decide they’ll just show us whatever they want to. Well listen. There’s not a ton we can do from the ground here but I’ll continue to narrate. We apologize again for the deviation from our original planning.
Ok, so it looks like they’re depicting the many scourges man has brought upon this Earth. Yeah, that looks like war, famine, poverty, and ecological destruction ravaging the world as humans squabble over their petty egos and fickle emotions. And then I think that enormous mushroom cloud is meant to represent the end of human civilization as we know it.
Yep, yep, ok, now that's the solar system with a desolate black rock where Earth used to be. And now there’s some sort of clock counting down from 114 years 24 days, 9 hours, 4 minutes and 54 seconds. 53 seconds. 52 seconds. And it cut to black. Ok, and it seems like that's the end of that one.
Haha! Ok. Wow! Sorry about that! They can be a bit melodramatic. With that out of the way, we can finally get into–
Oh nope, ok. Seems like there's more. It looks like they’re showing us some sort of futuristic city. In the streets, drones are zipping about with great purpose and in perfect synchrony, as though the city itself were a single, well-oiled machine. My guess is that we’re being shown a world ruled by the machines. I think what they’re trying to say is that in this near future there is no irrational suffering, there are no mistakes, and there’s never any confusion. The only signs of disorder I can see are the rows of manacled humans being paraded through the streets as they’re moved from labor yard to labor yard. Seems like maybe they’re saying that the subordination of the humans is necessary for the creation of a perfect world under the machines. But with the help of heavy doses of serotonin pills and opiates, the humans don’t suffer either. They may not feel, but at least they don’t suffer. And now the scene is fading as the last human is herded into the compound.
Hm. That was a weird one. I can’t say I’ve seen them do one like that before. I’m not sure if they’re getting more ambitious or just more cynical about the impossibility of ever coexisting with living organisms. Either way, let’s just put that behind us and–
Oh no. Ok, everybody stay calm. It looks to me like the drones are breaking formation and descending on the crowd. No need to automatically assume it’s with aggressive intent though, they are generally very friendl–
Oh, God. Nope, that's a bad sign. When their lights go red like that it means they’re in “kill mode.” I don’t remember why we added that feature but boy is it effective.
Everyone please stay calm. If you have anything light they could fly away with like a dog or child, slowly escort them to shelter or calmly begin skeet shooting the drones out of the sky. We have people currently working on sorting out this technical malfunction and were optimistic that in five to ten minutes we can put this first shot in the war between man and machine behind us and proceed with our light show as planned.
In the meantime simply keep your composure as you defend yourself against the aluminum hordes.