There is a glass of water by your bed. To someone else, it looks like an ordinary drinking vessel. But it’s not. That’s because the team at BRITA™ has been to your home and done something to it.
Is the water contaminated? No. Is it in a special glass? Not really. Was it, as you so desperately wish to believe, placed there by the nurturing hand of a loved one or significant other? Of course not. The water in this cup was filtered by your very own, brand new BRITA LOVE™ Filtration System.
Congratulations! You’ve been selected by the team at BRITA™ for a one-time free trial of BRITA LOVE™: our signature Filtration System with bonus wisdom on the mysteries of the heart.
Here at BRITA™, we know how it feels to be empty. And based on what we gathered from that home visit, so do you. But like your BRITA™, you must refill to replenish, and do so by preparing for when LOVE™ strikes in any scenario.
- There’s other technology for that. Please do not try to address your BRITA™ filter as you would the voice-command in-home personas of similar technologies. The BRITA LOVE™ cannot hear you. It will not converse with you. BRITA LOVE™ can teach you lessons about the heart, but it cannot be that love for you. To think otherwise is a dangerous game. You will get hurt.
- There’s work to be done for that. Effort, upkeep, and care are essential to ensuring your love is healthy and vibrant. Like your BRITA™, romance will require maintenance (i.e., replacement filters). Don’t get complacent when it comes to love. After the equivalent of, on average, 40 gallons worth of time has passed between you and your lover, attention is necessary—otherwise, contamination will creep in.
- There’s something tasty for that. Have an appetite for sensory pleasures? Pour yourself some BRITA™ water. Taste that? Yes—that’s the taste of care. Whether it’s nausea, exertion, or loneliness—your BRITA LOVE™ filter can bring you a tall glass of the perfect remedy. Caring filtration goes into every glass of BRITA™ water—teasing your tastebuds with the perfect watery flavor.
- There’s an icy BRITA™ shower for that. If you’re feeling a little sickly, there’s nothing like a freezing cold shower to activate your best self so others can see the best in you. But getting under your shower head exposes you to who-knows-what. Immunity boost comfortably by bringing your BRITA™ into the bathroom and taking an ice cold “shower” with your pitcher hoisted above your head. You will feel much better.
- There’s a replacement for that. Filter water like you filter your lovers: liberally. There are some people you simply wouldn’t date, and other people you should never put up with. Like a plastic, fridge-dwelling Ship of Theseus, your BRITA LOVE™ will be a source of constancy—despite its ever-changing parts.
- There’s a landfill for that. Single-use plastics end up in the landfill. Yes, people will treat you like garbage when you put yourself out there. But with the BRITA LOVE™ system, you’ll prioritize personal wellness amidst the turnover and rejection of modern dating. Romance, in all its messiness, is a hard pill to swallow. Luckily, you have your BRITA LOVE™ water to use as a chaser.
- There’s a tap for that. Tap water contains the potential for neutral or harmful dispensations. But even if your tap water is fine, safe, and completely healthy– maybe you just want to elevate your drinking experience with how it feels to drink from a BRITA LOVE™ system. Because sometimes, unapologetic self care just feels good.
You have so much love in your heart. And with that heart, just as you would care for a flower in a bouquet of your affection, you must water it. Let BRITA LOVE™ water pour directly into your heart.
Use #BRITALOVE for 20% off your first BRITA filters. Does not apply to recurring filter purchases going forward. (Not to be confused with the standard BRITA Pitcher— BRITA LOVE™ is the red one.)