K Si sent me this lovely story that doesn't quite fit anywhere else on PIC, so I thought I'd "squeeze it in" on my blog. Enjoy.
As told by "Molly" at a little bonfire/get-together this past Saturday.
Molly: …So I was like nearly blacked-out drunk having anal sex in the back of my car, ON THE SHOULDER OF THE DAN RYAN.
K Si: What?! Where?!?!
Molly: You know, the Dan Ryan….
K Si: Well yeah, but, I mean, where… okay whatever keep going.
Molly: At some point I felt something on my ass…
K Si: Instead of IN it….
Molly: I reached back there to feel the shit particles on my ass…
K Si: Wha– Why?
Molly: ‘Cause I was drunk.
Joe K: …Wow.
Molly: And I got a bunch of poo on my hand.
K Si: Ugh…
Molly: So then I wake up at like 6:30 in the morning to an Illinois State Trooper knocking on my window….
K Si and Joe K: HOLY SHIT!
Molly: I told him to hold on a sec, 'cause I wasn't wearing any pants or underwear, and I had my own poo on my hand….
Joe K: (falls out of his chair laughing) FU-U-U-U-UCK THAT!
Molly: So I put a glove on so the cop wouldn't see or smell the poop.
K Si: SWEET FUCKIN' CHRIST, you didn't….
Molly: Well I thou–
K Si: You thought he wouldn't see you do this, or smell your "poo-hand" already?!?
Molly: Well he didn't write me a ticket….
K Si: ….Wow.
(At this point we were beyond the realm of laughing, reeling from the overall imagery, when she trumped herself with the best line anyone ever could've followed that story with…)
Molly: Oh and that was the night I lost my "ass-virginity."