My editor is making me live blog the new season premiere of Bad Girls Club on Oxygen. Join the fun!
Read the archive live blog of Bad Girls Club, Season 4, Episode 1.
(Update 12-2-09: Transcript below)
8:44
Paul Frank: Welcome everyone to the Bad Girls Live Blog! This is your host and father, Paul Frank.
8:45
Paul Frank: Tonight marks the greatest day in the history of time: the season premiere of Bad Girls Club on Oxygen.
8:59
Paul Frank: Oh my God 1 minute 1 minute!
8:59
Paul Frank: To catch up on past episodes of this glorious piece of American media, go to http://www.hulu.com/the-bad-girls-club
9:01
Paul Frank: If you haven't seen Bad Girls Club before, first: what's wrong with you? No, seriously, were you beaten as a child? Molested? It's okay, you can tell me.
9:03
Paul Frank: I'd like to take a moment here to thank my editor for assigning me the Bad Girls Club live blog. How did you know this was my favorite show? How did you know that Bad Girls Club singelehandedly says everything that is on every human's mind and shows us how to become better people? How did you know Bad Girls Club changed life and the universe completely?
9:04
Paul Frank: Lol, I bet the producers would the ones who wrote ‘Too Black' on that chick's photo. No one else is in the home, isn't it obvious?
9:04
Paul Frank: Oh God did I just write ‘lol'?
9:05
Paul Frank: Oh man, this dry erase board thing is going to be good.
9:06
Paul Frank: Oh my God if they told me this show was completely scripted, I would believe it.
9:07
Paul Frank: All these girls says they make the rules. That's a lot of rules. I like shows without rules. Boooooooo
9:08
Paul Frank: Oh my God, they pulled an American Idol: they got a retard! Oh my God!
9:08
Paul Frank: (I'm referring to Annie. I think.)
9:09
Paul Frank: "I lost my virginity in my church. I remember looking up and like seeing Jesus on my wall." Yes. Yes. Amen.
9:10
Paul Frank: "I wanna be Mary Kate or whichever one the annorexic one was."
9:11
Paul Frank: "You just said ‘you don't eat food.' That's annyoing."
9:11
Paul Frank: "I like books with pink covers."
9:11
Paul Frank: God you can't write this stuff.
9:11
Paul Frank: "No strippers? Not yet."
9:13
Paul Frank: "I'm not gonna be one of those violent girls. I'm gonna be the one who just wants to party. If these bitches don't understand that and get in the way of my partying, there's gonna be a problem."
9:13
Paul Frank: Lesbians! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees! You really are listening to my prayers, God!
9:17
Paul Frank: All these girl's dads died. That actually make senses, and explains alot.
9:18
Paul Frank: Oh my God Annie and this Unnamed Black Chick is going to be a hilarious friendship.
9:19
Paul Frank: Oh, you girls! You're so bad! Stomping on a picture! (shakes fist) Get off my lawn!
9:20
Paul Frank: Is it possible to be bisexxual and not a slut? Didn't think so.
9:21
Paul Frank: Why didn't they have another angle when they girl pulled her dress up? Damn it, God, are you back to ignoring my prayers?
9:22
Paul Frank: "You should feel not complete unless you have your ID."
9:22
Paul Frank: Haha security.
9:22
Paul Frank: Oh my God, deos she actually drink red wine out of a can?
9:24
Paul Frank: Well, we're at our first commercial break. 22 minutes in and I'm not sure whether I want to kill myself, but I know I do need to look deep inside myself and really evaluate what I did to arrive at this point in my life.
9:24
Paul Frank: You're 21 years old, for fuck's sake, Paul! Get your shit together, Paul!
9:25
Paul Frank: You're 21 and you're live blogging Bad Girls Club? What went wrong in your life besides everything?
9:27
Paul Frank: "She got her ass beat for a reason" -On Rihanna. I thiiiiiiiiiiiink I like this girl.
9:28
Paul Frank: Good call, Anonymous.
9:28
Paul Frank: And I love you too, Guest.
9:28
Paul Frank: Why don't these girls ever come jump around my neck at bars?
9:29
Paul Frank: "I run LA." We've got a classic megalomaniac on our hands.
9:30
Paul Frank: I've never been so drunk that I held a phone upside down, unfortunately.
9:30
Paul Frank: Idea for season finale: Orgy.
9:32
Paul Frank: "Just chill." This girl's a Bro!
9:32
Paul Frank: Think about the people who put alcoholic insane retards on a show and are now millionaires.
9:33
Paul Frank: Both these girls use the adjective ‘hard'?? Come on.
9:39
Paul Frank: I'm going through Bad Girls Club withdrawal during these commercials!
9:40
Paul Frank: Right when I needed a montage!
9:41
Paul Frank: You commenters are making valid points.
9:41
Paul Frank: The only way to resolve this situation, clearly, is to start punching everyone.
9:44
Paul Frank: Really, we're still censoring upskirt vaginas on tv? It's 2009.
9:44
Paul Frank: "Do you have an eating disorder?" "No, I just don't wanna be fat."
9:45
Paul Frank: She's on pills. Love it.
9:46
Paul Frank: It was meant to be: Natalie and Annie as roommates.
9:47
Paul Frank: Punch a bitch! Punch a bitch!
9:47
Paul Frank: People don't have to whine "hit me!" in my face more than once.
9:50
Paul Frank: Well now I know what I want for Christmas, Santa: Bad Girls Club yoga pants.
9:50
Paul Frank: Yes, she definitely just dropped a random Hitler reference. This season premiere is complete.
9:52
Paul Frank: I wouldn't have fought with her if she said that about Hitler. Just sayin…
9:56
Paul Frank: That 60 minutes went by fast. Too fast. Well I think I speak for everyone when I say that we were all touched tonight by that episode of Bad Girls Club. Life as we know it has been changed forever. I hope you'll join me next week. Thanks, everyone! Please, sit down!
9:57
Paul Frank: Join me next Tuesday again as we watch another new episode of the best show in the history of man, Bad Girls Club.