Dear Ana and Mia,
I can’t be your friend on Facebook.
I don’t know you that well, but you look like a killer. Being killed is not my favorite pastime. I know this may come off as closed minded, but being dead as a doorknob does not sound like a good time to me. Let’s face facts: nobody wants to be the death of the party.
I also see you have intolerance for food. I don’t support this or any other intolerance (I do support the lactose challenged). I think food is something you both need to get to know better. I’m worried that a past experience has affected your views of all foods. Not all foods are jerks. Some foods are really sensitive and comforting like chocolate. I think you need to spend time with Chocolate and other high-calorie, I mean, high-class foods.
I’m really worried about you two. You seem like very nice girls who could do great things if you just get your hands out of your mouth and get some meat on those bones. Besides, yellow skin and hair loss does not make for an attractive person (on the other hand, boob jobs and tans work very well).
Please eat something so my degree isn’t worthless,
Roxy