BRISTOL: CALL ME (920) 644-4650
[NOTE: This love letter is for Bristol Hussein Palin's eyes only. I left a message on her voicemail (seriously…keep reading) directing her to this website. I want her to know how much I love her and care for her, so I am writing this for her.
You can leave Bristol a message of your own at (907) 982-9061. Tell her Paul Frank wants to marry her. Her phone number was discovered when Sarah's e-mail account was hacked. Google it.]
Bristol, I love you. Please, please, please God let me put a baby in you. Or just hold your hand. Or just kiss your neck. Or smell your hair. PLEASE, I swear on your unborn baby I would treat you WAY better than Levi will.
Ever since I first laid eyes on you, I fell in love. Do you believe in love at first site, Bristol? Doesn't matter.
I'm not even going to vote for John McCain. I'm going to write in your name – Bristol Palin.
If you don't mind, I would like to put another baby in you (best case scenario). Levi's baby can make room for Paul Frank's baby. I wouldn't even mind if Levi hung around and had sex with you, too. That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
People say that Sarah Palin's family should be off limits. That the media should leave you guys alone. I totally agree. So have sex with me, Bristol.
I love you, Paul Frank
