As I sit here writing this, I am scared for my future. I'm not gonna lie. My career's been great so far…fantastic even. But what happens when that all stops? What happens when I get a case of writer's block – a permanent case? I guess in this case, it would be called writer's cock… or cock's block. Permanent cock block.
You see, I'm a professional pornographic film actor. I've been doing what I love – fuckin' bitches – for years now. But I have this weird feeling that the constant demand and pressure from the shoots has been taking a toll on my wee-wee.
What happens when I can't get hard? Is my skeevy Russian director going to kick me to the curb – the same curb he rescued me from when I was a broke, scared, homeless immigrant? He wouldn't do that to me, would he? Aw, who am I kidding?! What is he gonna do, make pornos where I'm soft in them? They'd revolutionize the porno industry, it would turn the porn business upside down – yeah, right.
I'm just a washed-up, dried-out porn star.
I demand perfection from myself. I try to be hard 24/7. Even at home, sitting around the dinner table with my family, I need to be hard or there's a problem. This constant lifetime erection probably only adds to the problem. It probably doesn't keep me on the top of my game, which is why I do it. It's probably made my baby tired. My baby being my penis.
Are my fans gonna be disappointed when I can no longer make erotica all-time classics such as “No-Longer-Virgin Mary” series? When I'm walking down the street, soft as the day I was born, am I going to be booed, yelled at, and ridiculed?
I can't stand the thought of letting down my fans, my director, the slut I'm supposed to bang, and God. I can't stand the thought of one day not being able to become erect, yet it's all I think about. Maybe the mental stress is crippling my pee-pee.
I think I'll stay home from work today, call in ‘soft.' They'll understand…right? Whatever, I'm gonna try and forget about it. I'll just sit here and watch My Super Sweet 16.
Oh my! What's this strange rising sensation in between my legs? Yes! Yes! It's back! I'm back! I'm hard again! He has risen!
Thank you, My Super Sweet 16. You're a boner-saver.