As I have discovered after a year of The Hard Way, keeping up with a column can be a tiresome task. Week in and week out you're looking for new topics, and before you know it, you're doubting your own writing ability. SOB!
Creating new column ideas, however, is thrilling, exciting, and exciting. So let's indulge in a little fantasy. I present, "Columns I will never write… unless they get overwhelmingly good feedback and/or just one hot chick's favor."
The Jock Strip
A 3 panel comic about roommates Kev and Brad. They argue over many things, but the highlight is of course SPORTS! They toss gay jokes back and forth even more than various balls, (and trust me they play with balls a lot). In the end I suppose it is some tongue-in-cheek satire about sports and their tie to the heterosexual male bonding rituals.
Example:
Brad: Hey Kev, when are you going to grow a massive beard like Roethlisberger?
Kev: I don't know Brad, when are you going to stop admiring men's physical features?
Brad: I was going to compliment your collar bone, but now you can just forget it.
Yeah okay, so I already strayed from my blog subject, but that's not the biggest problem with this strip. 1: I don't know anything about sports, and 2. it was just a pun to begin with.
Sexes and Exes
A weekly plunge into the sopping wet world of sex and relationships. I ponder the absurdities of social sexual conduct. Is this allowed? Can that really happen? How long should I wait until I do that again? Each week would feature a new Embarassing SEX STORY as well as a new Awkward Ex story. Sometimes the two will coincide.
Example:
There are 5 levels of commitment in a relationship… much like there are 5 levels of sex. It is no coincedince that each level is denoted by the type of sex you now engage in. Also I Prejaculated last night.
Lower the Bar
Drinking. It doesn't get any more So College than that. Every column will be about drinking. The types of drunks, the ways of drunks, the types of ways of drunks. It's a straight shot of comedy, with a "that's so true" chaser. Or the other way around, I can't tell anymore. Bottom line is… a crack. HAHAHA GET IT! I feel sleepy.
Example:
Lookf herre guys. Ther eare twotypes of durnks. Those that are fuinny and… RANDY PASSED OUT!!!!
Miami Advice
I move to Miami, and start an advice column.
Example:
I'm from Miami, what the fuck do you want from me?
A shitty, infrequent blog where I lose all my fan base by exposing too much truth.
Example:
"A shitty infrequent blog where I …"