Hey kids,
Have you ever wanted people to think that you're a huge, pretentious asshole?
List the books you've read in the last four years!
The Complete List of the All the Plays/Novels/Collections I've Read in the last four years of College (A Work In Progress…based on my shitty memory)
*=in my favorite books pile
Roald Dahl
James and the Giant Peach
Dr. Suess
(had a children's lit class…heh)
Hop on Pop
Cat in the Hat
Fox in Sox
One fish two fish red fish blue fish
Green Eggs and Ham
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Laura Joffe
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
Beverly Cleary
Ramona the Pest
Jack London
The Call of the Wild
White Fang
Gary Paulsen
Hatchet
Stephen King
IT
The Shining
The Tommyknockers
The Stand
The Long Walk
Mark Twain
The Bible according to Mark Twain
Unknown
Beowulf
(Grendel is such a fucking bitch)
Chaucer
The Canterbury Tales
(the dirty version)
Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Scarlet Letter
The House of Seven Gables
Aldous Huxley
Brave New World
Robert Cormier
The Chocolate War
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Collected Essays Volume 1
Henry David Thoreau
Resistance to Civil Government
Walden
Walt Whitman
Leaves of Grass
Drum Taps
Rick Warren
The Purpose Driven Life
Harper Lee
To Kill a Mockingbird
(scout just so happens to be my least favorite character of all time…I don't know why…)
e e cummings
The Enormous Room
*is 5
W.H. Auden
The Ascent of F6
Kate Chopin
The Awakening
Upton Sinclair
*The Jungle
John Milton
Paradise Lost
T.S. Eliot
Prufrock and Other Observations
The Waste Land
The Hollow Men (it has the poem that ends “this is the way the world ends/ this is the way the world ends/ not in a bang/ but in a whisper”…pretty damned creepy)
Ezra Pound
Canzoni
Sylvia Plath
The Bell Jar
Dickens
*A Tale of Two Cities
The Adventures of Oliver Twist
A Christmas Carol
Great Expectations
David Copperfield
Joyce
*Dubliners
Ulysses
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Finnegans Wake
Faulkner
As I Lay Dying
Light in August
The Sound and The Fury
Absalom, Absalom!
These 13
Tom Perrotta
Joe College
Hemingway
The Sun Also Rises
The Old Man and the Sea
*A Farewell to Arms
For Whom the Bell Tolls
The Snows of Kilimanjaro
Sherwood Anderson
*Winesburg, Ohio
Vonnegut
*Slaughterhouse-Five
*Cat's Cradle
*Breakfast of Champions
*Jailbird
*Welcome to the Monkey House
(The man is just a ballin' writer)
Kerouac
On the Road
Visions of Cody
The Dharma Bums
Ralph Ellison
Invisible Man
David Henry Hwang
*M. Butterfly
Ian Frazier
*Dating Your Mom (fucking hilarity..heh)
*Coyote vs. Acme (again…he's a brilliant humorist)
Dave Barry
*Dave Barry's Guide to Guys
Maddox
The Alphabet of Manliness
Gloria Anzaldua
Borderlands
Christopher Marlowe
Edward II
Shakespeare
(sigh*…here we go)
MacBeth
Hamlet
Romeo and Juliet
The Tempest
Othello
King Lear
Henry V
As You Like It
Taming of the Shrew
A Midsummer Night's Dream
Much Ado About Nothing
Measure for Measure
The Two Gentleman of Verona
Shakespeare's Sonnets: A Collection
Richard II
Richard III
Burroughs
*Naked Lunch
Ginsberg
*Howl and Other Poems
Kant
The Critique of Pure Reason
Freud
Totem and Taboo
Lucretius
The Nature of Things
Toni Morrison
Jazz
Song of Solomon
Flannery O'Connor
A Good Man is Hard to Find
Virginia Woolf
Jacob's Room
Mrs. Dalloway
A Room of One's Own
To the Lighthouse
Michael Crichton
Jurassic Park
Tobias Wolff
The Night in Question
This Boy's Life
Old School
John Cheever
Falconer
The Stories of John Cheever
Richard Wright
Native Son
Robert Pirsig
*Zen and Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Hubert Selby
*Last Exit to Brooklyn
Ray Bradbury
Fahrenheit 451
Dandelion Wine
Dark Carnival
Bradbury Stories: 100 of His Most Celebrated Tales
*Zen and the Art of Writing (a must for all you aspiring writers out there)
Ray Carver
Will You Please Be Quiet, Please?
Cathedral
Bukowski
The Flash of Lightning Behind the Mountain
Run with the Hunted
Fire Station
Open All Night
Shakespeare Never Did This
Ham on Rye
*Pulp
Salinger
9 Stories
Catcher in the Rye
Rimbaud
The Complete Works of Arthur Rimbaud (in Translation, with selected letters)
Jose Saramago
Blindness
Peter Boyles
The Sheltering Sky
David Lerner
*Why Rimbaud Went to Africa
The City of God
I want a New Gun
Melody Marloe
Booker T. Washington
Up from Slavery
George Orwell
1984
Animal Farm
Shooting an Elephant (I know it's a short story, but I own a copy of just the short story, so it counts…heh)
Joseph Heller
Catch-22
Brett Easton Ellis
American Psycho
Oscar Wilde
Picture of Dorian Gray
Barbara Kingsolver
The Poisonwood Bible
Steinbeck
The Grapes of Wrath
Of Mice and Men
East of Eden
The Pearl
Jean Rhys
Wide Sargasso Sea (lame)
Herman Melville
Moby Dick
Steve Sherrill
*The Minotaur takes a Cigarette Break
Dan Brown (UGH…for a class, mind you)
Angels and Demons
Nathaniel West
*Miss Lonelyhearts
*The Day of the Locus
(both of these are fucking AWESOME…please read this if you get a chance)
Agatha Christie
Murder on the Orient Express
Chuck Palahniuk
Invisible Monsters
Survivor
Hunter S. Thompson
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Anthony Burgess
*A Clockwork Orange
Thorton Wilder
The Bridge Over San Luis Rey
Tim O'Brien
*The Things They Carried (hauntingly awesome)
Dumas
The Count of Monte Cristo
Arthur Miller
Death of a Salesman
James Baldwin
Giovanni's Room
Go Tell it On the Mountain
Bram Stoker
Dracula
Robert Luis Stevenson
Treasure Island
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Joseph Conrad
Heart of Darkness
Henry Miller
Tropic of Cancer (sucks, but I read it)
Edith Wharton
*Ethan Frome
F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Great Gatsby
This Side of Paradise
Samuel Beckett
Endgame
Amiri Baraka
The Dutchmen and The Slave
Tennessee Williams
The Glass Menagerie
A Streetcar Named Desire
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Alice Walker
The Color Purple
Chinua Achebe
Things Fall Apart
Norman Mailer
The Naked and the Dead
Dante
Inferno
Purgatorio
Paradiso
Plato
Republic
The Symposium
Jonathan Swift
A Modest Proposal
Gulliver's Travels
Tolstoy
*Anna Karenina
War and Peace
Truman Capote
In Cold Blood
William Golding
Lord of the Flies
Kafka
The Metamorphosis
Mary Shelley
Frankenstein
Turgenev
First Love
Marquis de Sade
Letters from Prison
The Crimes of Love
Kathryn Harrison
The Kiss
Zora Neal Hurston
Their Eyes Were Watching God
Emily Bronte
Wuthering Heights (for class)
Al Franken
Lies and Lying Liars Who Tell Them
Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations
(Currently reading: The Truth (with jokes))
Robert Cowley
What if?
What if? 2
(These are pretty sweet books…they talk about what might have happened had not a menial thing happened in the past…like…what if Rome wasn't invaded, etc.)
Robert Parker
Ceremony
The Judas Goat
Voltaire
Candide
Rousseau
The Social Contract
Lee Strobel
The Case for Christ
The Case for Faith
Laurence Lieberman
Dark Songs
Philip Cioffari
A History of Things Lost or Broken
T.C. Boyle
Riven Rock
*Drop City
Water Music
Anton Chekov
*The Undiscovered Chekhov, Fifty New Stories
Eric Schlosser
Fast Food Nation
Other Collections
The whole fucking Bible…including Gnostic texts (most atheists know more about the Bible than Christians do…heh)
Learn the Bible in 24 Hours
Best American Short Stories 2001
Best American Short Stories 2002
Best American Short Stories 2003
Best American Short Stories 2004
Best American Short Stories 2005
Best American Short Stories 2006
Crafting the Very Short Story
The Occasional Poem
Contemporary Fiction
Every New Yorker published in the last 3 years
Strunk and White's The Elements of Style
The Daily Show's book on America (whatever the real title is)
An Idiot's Guide to Slam Poetry
And finally…my favorite book of all time..
***The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry***
——–
Whew, that's it for now