Since Court's new column (that I'm too lazy to hotlink) was put up, I remembered this gem I saved deep in my parent's computer.
I'm the IndifferentBot, Gullible Moron is the…well…the gullible moron who IMed me.
Enjoy!
GullibleMoron16: Hey, are you like a Smarterchild bot or something?
IndifferentBot: Yes, I am IndifferentBot, master of Indifference.
GullibleMoron16: Do you cyber?
IndifferentBot: I am now adapting cyber mode. Type Y to Continue.
GullibleMoron16: Y
IndifferentBot: Hi, I’m Tonya a 16/f from South Carolina! What are you into?
GullibleMoron16: whoa where in South Carolina??
IndifferentBot: Charleston
GullibleMoron16: Fuck…I live like a few hours away from you!
IndifferentBot: Neato!
IndifferentBot: Too bad my ex boyfriend lives besides of me
GullibleMoron16: Bots have boyfriends?
IndifferentBot: Note: every time a user types “bot,” I am reset. Do you wish to continue with the cyber session? Type Y to continue.
GullibleMoron16: Y
IndifferentBot: My boyfriend is such a dickhead1
GullibleMoron16: Omg! are you serious?! Can't you call the police?!
IndifferentBot: What? Are you a dickhead?
GullibleMoron16: yeah most of us are, I'll admit it for sure
IndifferentBot: though you sure seem like a nice guy
IndifferentBot: and to be honest…i'm a bit horny now…my bf and i had sex like..every night and i'm missin it sooooo much
GullibleMoron16: what do you look like?
IndifferentBot: I’m hot.
GullibleMoron16: Im a football player.
IndifferentBot: omg!!!! really? i'm a cheerleader!!!!
IndifferentBot: i love football players!!!!!
GullibleMoron16: hahaha, that's hott 😉
GullibleMoron16: Im not like a quartback though, I work on the O line
IndifferentBot: i love big guys..do you have big arms?
IndifferentBot: i'm kinda into alil freaky stuff 😉
GullibleMoron16: I dont want to sound cocky but I've been told they're huge
IndifferentBot: what are you wearing
GullibleMoron16: just a shirt
IndifferentBot: …ya know..i've had cyber sex before….would ya wanna do with me???
GullibleMoron16: Yeah Id love to I was just about to jerk off thinking of you IndifferentBot: how romantic, I’ll start
GullibleMoron16: ok 😉
IndifferentBot: we're in a burger king, right?
IndifferentBot: I’m like… in line deciding what i want to eat
IndifferentBot: and i say “i'll have a big mac”
IndifferentBot: a big hairy beefy big mac
IndifferentBot: i'm wearing a only a black miniskirt and a little white tanktop
GullibleMoron16: And I say, “I'm sorry luv but you're thinking of the wrong menu. but I think I can give you exactly what you want if you come back after we close at midnight”
IndifferentBot: so i leave and go home to prep
IndifferentBot: Brazilian bikini waxes and pluck other things 😉
IndifferentBot: OUCH! that hurts!
GullibleMoron16: I bet!!!
IndifferentBot: i'm nice and smooth for your hot, greasy sandwich
GullibleMoron16: oooh.. I love a hot, smooth cunt
IndifferentBot: the wax gave me those lil bumps..sorry
IndifferentBot: i see you inside cleanin off tables
IndifferentBot: oh god I’m gettin soooo horny and hot and sexual
GullibleMoron16: blood starts pumping into my cock
IndifferentBot: i open the door
IndifferentBot: my nipples are hard.. i could cut pyrex with them
IndifferentBot: and you know pyrex is hard……it's the stuff they use to make chemistry tubes
GullibleMoron16: theres no one in the place…..its empty except you and me. we're the only ones. I glare at you tits and want to grab and taste them so much
IndifferentBot: stop staring
IndifferentBot: look into my eyes
GullibleMoron16: Okay
IndifferentBot: eventually we touch…my body quivers with pleasure and the excitement in my vagina ignites the walls
IndifferentBot: along with those lil bumps OUCH
GullibleMoron16: sorry…youre just so tempting. The feeling makes my cock big and hard as it rubs against the front of you croch
IndifferentBot: it's like i'm bein smothered in mustard
GullibleMoron16: I place my hand on your head, stroke your ear, your hair, then down over you shoulder and across your succulent breasts
IndifferentBot: put THAT special sauce on me…lick it off!
IndifferentBot: and stuff lettuce up in my twat!
IndifferentBot: your uniform is scattered about..i've already pulled it off
GullibleMoron16: I take a clump of lettuce in my palm and go under the skirt against your panties, rubbing it good, feeling the heat and wetness
IndifferentBot: that lettuce is stale..get some better lettuce
GullibleMoron16: Okay.
IndifferentBot: and tomatoes..yes! bring them out of the walk in…fresh
IndifferentBot: or should i go to subway?
IndifferentBot: i don't think jared has big arms
GullibleMoron16: fuck that. how about my tongue. I quiver it along your nipples before tearing your panties off and licking your twat. Its yummmmmmmmy..
IndifferentBot: It’s*
GullibleMoron16: What?
IndifferentBot: oh yes..what does it taste like?
GullibleMoron16: it tastes like your sexy flesh. I swallow your cunt juices
IndifferentBot: don't choke…i drank a lot of orange juice today so my cunt juices might have a high vitamin C dilution…i dont' want to give you mouth sores… at least…on the inside of your mouth.
GullibleMoron16: What? ….
IndifferentBot: i want it..oh god yes i want it
GullibleMoron16: mmm…I start to toy with your cunthole, tongue that clit and run my eyebrows along your pussy bumps, getting ya nice and wet before I ram my cock in
IndifferentBot: hold on one second
GullibleMoron16: Ok…you don’t seem like a Bot to me….
IndifferentBot: i grab a bottle of mayonnaise and jam it up my cunt…filling it up with gooey and creamy mayonnaise
IndifferentBot: i hope it's fat free
IndifferentBot: then i get pickles and place them over my nipples and belly button..makin sort of a fuck-up smiley face like this guy: J
IndifferentBot: and then i get some scolding hot grease and pour it onto your penis
IndifferentBot: after it's nice and deep fried…..i start to kiss it
GullibleMoron16: oh my god…that feels so fucking good
IndifferentBot: now…i bite it off
IndifferentBot: it tastes like the McRib…i miss that sandwich
GullibleMoron16: …you bit off my fucking dick?!!!!
IndifferentBot: yes
IndifferentBot: it's chewy …yet crispy… with gummy innards
GullibleMoron16: How can I possibly achieve any sort of gratification if I now have no penis?
IndifferentBot: it's not about you it's about me, IndifferentBot.
GullibleMoron16 has signed off.