Even Crippled, I Have Questions

I already wrote this once, but my computer deleted it.

Entertain me and answer with comments.

You're on a road trip. You get to pick three fictional movie characters from college movies. You're going to have the time of your life. Which three do you pick?

Best wizard ever? Gandalf? Merlin? Obi Wan? Harry Potter? Michael Jordan? (Sorry, I'm watching LOTR and reading HP now.)

Does anybody know anybody who makes really cool canes? I don't need one, but I want one. Maybe extendable, maybe with a hidden sword. What does one of those things run?

Why, oh why, do chicks dig scars? The one on the back of my neck looks like a zipper. The one on my front looks like I received half of a Sicilian Necktie.

Anybody know a good literary agent? DeGraaf? Bash? I'm looking at you two.

Thanks gang, you're all the best.

Related

5 Best Casino-Themed Movies

Olena Medynska

November 25, 2024

Increasing Your Likelihood of Success When Trading Cryptocurrencies

Jacob Knowles

November 25, 2024

The Experience of Others: Interviews with Canadian Pin-Up Players

Travis Lee

November 25, 2024

Wanted Dead or Alive: People Who Took Stuff from a Bodega

Jared Eimicke

November 23, 2024

Resources

9 Comments

Adrienne September 1, 2008

I've picked 2 of the questions.

Definitely Albus Dumbledore.

And I think chicks dig scars because it makes you look dangerous. And most chicks dig guys that appear dangerous.

Suzanne August 30, 2008

cat fight with emily, just kidding

Alex Willen August 30, 2008

Under "Sword Canes" on the left side. No pictures of the actual swords though, as far as I can tell.

http://www.creativecanes.com/canepics04.html

Courtney August 29, 2008

I've only got time to answer one question, so I picked the one that took the least amount of thought. The greatest wizard of all time is Albus Dumbledore, from the Harry Potter books. No question. If you pay attention, he's kind of a bad ass. And yes, I embrace my inner nerd. Glad that you seem to be doing well!

RJewD2 August 29, 2008

KC,
First the 3 people I would bring with me on the road trip are all from Animal House. 1) Bluto because he can pound an entire bottle of JD in one go, dresses up like a pirate, and is fat and slobbish. All awesome and commendable things. 2) Otter because he comes up with hair brained schemes to get tail, like finding Faun Lebowitz after her boyfriend died and taking advantage of her vulnerable state. Also awesome. and 3) Dean Wormer's wife because she is a total MILF and a total whore. Again all awesome.

The best wizard is Mr. Wizard, I mean where else can you learn about such useful real life things as how to make a potato power a clock. A close second is Gilber Arenas, the guy seriously yelled "hibachi" when he would shoot.

Finally the cane you want is a cane gun, the less common cousin of the sword cane. Everyone remembers the part in Indiana Jones where the guy is swinging his sword around all badass and then Indy, cool as the other side of the pillow, shoots him. That could be you if you get in a fight with a guy with a cane sword and you have a cane gun.

Sarah Romeo August 29, 2008

College movies? Can't I choose sitcom characters instead? George Castanza, Lucille Bluth, and Liz Lemon. I know that doesn't answer the question, but I think they'd be a rowdy bunch.

Favorite Wizard? Selena Gomez. She's on some Disney Channel show about wizards. I've never seen it but she's prettier than I have ever dreamed of being and she's shacking up with a Jonas Brother.

I don't know why chicks dig scars, but I would dig them more if people tattooed how the scar came about right next to it. Like, "Dog Bite," "Toaster Burn," "I Fell," etc. I think you should do that, it would tell quite the story.

Emily=) August 29, 2008

chicks dig scars cause EVERYONE digs scars. but if you don't want to deal with them you don't need to buy those retardedly expensive creams to help them go away, just put sunscreen(whatever SPF you usually use) on them(everyday!) sunscreen has the same stuff in it as those creams and it's way cheaper.

David Nelson August 29, 2008

Don't bother with literary agents. I worked at one for 2 years. Trust me, it's not a necessary step in the process of getting published.

Suzanne August 28, 2008

umm chicks dig scares? I don't know maybe it makes you look cool sensative and caring. maybe they think they can take care of you and nurse you back to health. put on some vitamin e. Thats cool you are watching movies. Its publicly humilating to go outside wearing a neck brace and have little kids point out and quietly ask their parents what the hell happened. plus its to hot to go outside anyways.