Hopefully, you are blissfully unaware of the following chunk of news: There's a pastor in Gainesville, Florida promoting International Burn a Koran Day, which will not be nearly as fun as it sounds. Before we get to the meat of this matter, I would like to point out that no one ever tries to pull this kind of crap in big cities with heavy foreign populations. Try this shit in Detroit and you'd be one dead pastor. Okay, on to the meat that matters most:
Freedom of Speech is totally awesome. Because of its awesomeness, we must accept that unpopular speech will happen: like book burnings. Freedom of Religion is awesome. Because of its awesomeness we must accept that things like inconveniently located Mosques will happen.
Principles only matter when you cling to them even when they're inconvenient. For example, I have a rule that I never sleep with women who weigh more than me. Have I wanted to violate this principle to break certain slumps? You betcha. But I am true to myself and my principles. Without principles, life is one big meaningless pile of crap. And so, I beg of all of you out there in internet land, please stop begging the President of the United States to limit this Koran-burning hillbilly's freedoms. Because if enraged idiots can have their freedom taken, then we can all have our freedom taken. And then we're no better than the Nazis. And they sucked.
Extremists always suck, whether they be Christian, Muslim, Jewish or American Idol fans. They will do things we don't like in places we rarely go for reasons we cannot fathom. And that's life. And trying to change it, trying to get people to conform to your point of view, always yields war, death and destruction. Leaving it all alone simply yields a bunch of burnt books and a mosque near Ground Zero.
Now, all that being said, can anyone explain to me why the words "Muslim faith" seem to be synonymous with "no sense of fucking humor whatsoever"?
Once again, just like that one time that Danish guy did a drawing of Mohammed, the Muslim community is seriously upset and threatening upheaval and reprisals and jihads and possibly a three day, seven channel MASH marathon. No one wants any of that just because a hillbilly wants to burn a holy book.
Now, you're not being revolutionary or even cutting edge when you burn books; you're just being a crotchety pain in the ass. And you're not being revolutionary or even an extremist when you respond to symbolism with violence; you're just being a short-sighted, angry little bitch. And because I won't sacrifice the American principles of Free Speech or Religious Freedoms and create a compromise between hillbillies and hate mongers, I'm simply gonna make the following suggestion.
Everyone who thinks burning Korans is a good idea and everyone who thinks killing people would be an acceptable response to burning Korans should get together and get really, really, really, out-of-their-heads stoned and completely and totally forget what the hell they're worrying about anyway. They could watch cartoons or maybe play board games or something.
Because, Christ on a stick, you extreme fuckers are absolutely no fun anywhere, ever. And that totally needs to change.