Fans help me sleep at night… because i can't stand the room being hot and stuffy with the insecurity of failed jokes. Having just received a strange email from someone in taiwan, and having not blogged in a good while, and having lapses in my Hard Way Posts. I'd thought I'd give you guys some props…
That way you might get in 84 replies in a comment box argument over whether I'm funny or just offensive.
Who's ready for a massive name drop?
The PIC lounge Gang- One very lonely and unproductive summer, Court had an AIM chatroom link so that PIC fans and random clueless teenagers could talk about how dumb ashlee simpson was. Heather, Alli, Lesley, etc. Ya'll were there for me back in the Summer 04… and in fact still are… there… in that chatroom, sending me invites every now and then. Lots of funny convos happened there, including the ones that got me noticed by Court. Only there did you see screennames such as Oh moche, freethenutter, and bluepokes (i'm forgetting EVERYONE) I think I got sent no less than 3 false pictures from 13 year olds trying to look older, (and one 19 year old who looks 13). I actually can't even claim any of these people as fans, since I'm not sure they even like my writing… but I used their backs as stairsteps to the top. So THANK YOU.
My Flirty Fans- I have a lot more lady fans than I do guys… or at least they get in touch with me more… I don't think this is any coincedince. My humor is very sexual, and I pretty much am a skanky fan pleaser slut. I just wish guys would catch on that they can get some of this too. What? Weird. Anyway this goes out to Shanna, Carli, Anna, and all my other aim buddies that I flirt with, I have to say thank you for entertaining the idea that I could possibly be interesting to women. If you didn't live so far away… I would have grossly misjudged the relationship between us and blown it by now. WINK.
Dianne and Homie- Why are they so special? they're the only two fans i've actually met. Don't get me wrong, I've had friends of mine who start reading my articles and then tell me about it. Only twice, however, has someone learned about me through Pointsincase, and then spotted me in a crowd, or been the roommate of someone i graduated with. For that, guys, you get my Salute. More of you fuckers should track me down like these guys.
THIS GUY- Ryan imed me one night tanked off his ass. He proceeded to talk for hours, and was very dedicated to our convo despite numerous interruptions: I took a shower, his drunk mind wandered, and some beastly chick was rubbing his crotch. This guy offered to make a fool of himself just to be on PIC, and postponed sex for the sake of talking to me. He put down the other writers, citing how I was better than them, and literally postponed his sexual escapades to keep talking to me. He returned prompty after his hook up, for more drunken rambling. The next day he apologized, and nearly shit his pants when I actually dialed the number he gave me. Pretty funny experience. Here ya go buddy.
Rywilbu2: dfoesnt jafer make you think of some guy runnijng?
Rywilbu2: “im doing redbull and jager”
Werewolf Mikey: hahaha
Werewolf Mikey: jogger?
Werewolf Mikey: hahaha
Rywilbu2: “w3ait, youre doing a jogger? yhats gay”
Rywilbu2: yours is all true, its like im connected to you
Rywilbu2: therough a weird umbilical chord
Rywilbu2: post this on PICplease
Werewolf Mikey: hahahahahah
Werewolf Mikey: i'll think about it
THIS GUY TOO- I received this email less than an hour ago. I'm not sure what a He-female is, but apparently this guy thinks I can teach him how to be a man. That's like asking Justin how to react appropriately or Forest to come back and write again.
Hey
I like your articles and the way you look at things. I love humor and I want to be able to have fun with anyone and anywhere. Right now I'm stuck on this small island full of he-females and if I don't fight for my male-dom, I might soon be truned into a He-female myself. I'm a freshman and I want to follow in your footsteps, learn how to be a man and still make fun of these he-females. What should I do, where should i start?
Thanks from Taiwan