While visiting my friend and former roommate, Doug, in New York a few weeks back, I stopped by his ex-girlfriend's wedding reception because I was invited. I had spoken to Doug's ex about six times since we graduated college. Once every three years or so she sends a Christmas card to my mom's house, which always makes for some variation of the following phone conversation:
Mom: Nate, you got a letter, here.
Me: It's not from the state, is it?
Mom: No, it looks like a real letter.
Me: Oh, well open it.
Mom: Why don't I just send it to you?
Me: Okay.
Mom's so cute. She never wants to open my mail. Even if I give her permission.
Anyway, the last time Mom and I had that conversation, I received a wedding invitation from Doug's ex. This invitation was a magnet. And I needed a magnet (in fact, I still keep it on my fridge). Because I saw this magnet every time I grabbed a beer, I even memorized the date of her wedding.
And so (and I promise I'm going somewhere with this), when I finally decided to go to New York, visit Doug, and drink heavily with him, I figured, hey, why not go the same day of the wedding?
I was at that reception about twenty five minutes. And I was very drunk when I arrived. Though I will say I don't remember being rude, I probably was. After all, I was drunk.
Anyway, when I got to that wedding reception, I met the groom, hugged the bride, drank a few drinks, ate a little, then left to go back drinking with Doug and company. I figured, since we didn't ever talk very much, Doug's ex wouldn't mind me being there for only a short while. And she didn't.
But for some reason, she had a problem with me showing up drunk.
She even called Doug to let him know, leading to the following conversation (conveyed to me by Doug):
Ex: Nate showed up wasted at my wedding.
Doug: Well yeah, he'd been drinking for six hours.
Ex: I just can't believe that he would do that.
Doug: What the hell are you talking about? You know Nate.
Now, you gotta love this about Doug: not only does he expect me to behave the way I do, he is almost shocked at the idea that a person would think I would behave otherwise. What can I say? That's a good friend.
And it's also why I don't get invited to a lot of weddings.