We actually had to stand in line. There were only four of us, and we actually had to stand in line. We paid full price ($10 per ticket). Granted, we ended up sitting about thirty feet from the field, but that doesn’t matter. What matters: we paid full price. We stood in line. Wow.
I wish I had more for you, but Saturday wasn’t nearly as insane as Friday. Sorry. So, with that in mind, here are some tips for out-of-towners in Tropicana Field:
- The trick to getting into the box seating area: all the ushers are like ninety years old. Their bladders are not what they used to be. Be patient, walk the perimeter and wait for an opening. It will come to you and you will sit in a nice spot. Trust me.
- Don’t get mad when the Tampa Bay fans try to drown out the crowd noise of your fans. Let them try. It is, after all, their stadium.
- Don’t park in the city. The meter-maid industry is huge in St. Pete. Just suck it up and pay the parking fee.
- Don’t get the Nachos Supreme. Their definition of supreme involves cheese, salsa and jalapenos. Man, I’d hate to see the regular nachos. What do they do? Throw a bag of tortilla chips at you and tell you to f— off (I’m self-editing).
- Try the foot-long dog and the fries. Nothing to write home about, but they ain’t bad.
- Always try to get tickets outside. People give these away like you wouldn’t believe. In this town, having a pair of Devil Ray tickets is like having a rash: no one even wants to look at them, let alone touch them. If you’re not from Boston, New York or (apparently) St. Louis, you’ll never pay full price.
And finally, the game: we won. It wasn’t pretty, but we won. Izzy made it interesting in the late innings, Albert Pujols took one out (while I was in the beer line, which meant I high-fived a total stranger. Man, I love the random, total-stranger bonding moment) and Scotty Rolen is on the mend, a fact which caused this conversation between Peek and I:
Me: Do you think the Cardinals wanted Scotty to go one rehab assignment in the minors, and he was like, ‘hell, we’re playing the Devil Rays. Can’t I just do it there?’
Peek: Yes.
He ain’t the best color man in the game for nothing (all homage paid to Bob Ueker and the move, Major League).
Peek just read this blog and mentioned that I left out one important thing: Peek brought a beach ball, which he inflated and sent flying in the box-seat section. A security guard eventually got a hold of it and then cut it in half with a large knife, as if he was taking care of a major nuisance (or gutting a deer). So, here's a shout out to that security guard: thanks for protecting us from the Beach Ball. Oh yeah, and we're bringing ten more for today's game so sharpen that hunting knife. Jerk.