Update:
Welp kids, over the last few weeks I haven't been posting so much. Yes, I admit it: I'm a shamefully lazy guy most of the time. Deep down, part of me thinks that my general lethargy is probably the main reason why I want to be a writer so much. It's an easy gig compared to…I don't know…anything other job.
However! All of this time spent away from you folks wasn't in vain. You see, the reason I haven't been around so much is simply because I've been fucking your mother.
And by “fucking your mother” I mean “creating rock and roll.” But, I also mean that loosely. We've only practiced about 15 total hours; yet, I've got to say that, we're already feeling a Cake meets Primus meets blues meets bluegrass meets jam band thang. My buddy Nathan is actually a fucking sweet bassist and McCoy knows how to rock the gee-tar.
The problem I've always had with being in a band is ironically one of the easiest things; at least, in comparison to all the fucking compromises one has to make with everybody from the lead guitar to the guy you bring in to play the dinner triangle.
But alas, I realized that the people who read this blog are very clever (see “Give this Photo a Caption”), and should give my band a name.
And, in order to help, I've got a few strange half-written lyrics that have the music written for them already.
This is all ya get until we can get recordin' or I get active enough to write the tabs and shit.
Yep yep
Just call me Major W. Snipes
*prechorus-primarly lead*
Just give my fuckin gun
and I'll fuckin shoot.
Uh.
*chorus-bass kicks in wicked, lead follows*
Hey Vampire Scum
I'll kill you vampire scum,
just give me my gun and
I'll kill you
you fuckin' vampire skum
just give me my gun
and I'll kill you
you vampire skum
*Verse 1*
You're not a vampire;
You read Ann Rice.
You talk about it with other low lives
who read Blade comics
and can't stand the fact that they aren't
fuckin special
*Prechorus*
emo kids
you ain't so special
*Repeat Chorus*
*Bluesy solo*
*fades into blue's call and response*
You can't grow fangs;
you can't be a bat
You ain't so cool;
you're just a *break* fuckin' fag.
Uh-huh.
*Bluesy solo*
*Chorus*
You emo kids
you ain't so special
You emo kids
you ain't so special
and
I'll kill you all
to-night
Denmark's Redlight District Honeysuckle-Blues
i'd pay to fuck you baby
yeah but I'd rather talk the blues
oh i'd pay to fuck your dank pussy baby
but I'd rather talk the blues
I'd get the HIV and die, baby
but I'd rather talk these old blues
*build tension*
oh baby
yeah baby
yeah I'd rather speak these blues
than go in there
Yeah…go in there
Yeah …go in there
*break*
maybe I'll come in…
*sexual solo*
it's been a slow fall this year
it's been a slow fall baby, but it feels like summer tonight
it's been a slow fall for me baby
but it feels like summer tonight
(feels like summer tonight)
it's been a slow fall (for us all baby)
so thanks for puttin on that big redlight
*builds*
uh!
*sexual bass solo leads into more awkward solo*
yeah i would've fucked you baby,
but your shit smelled like a moose
yeah i'd've paid to fuck you baby
but your shit smelled like a moose
see, i'd've cum in your twat, baby
but you can go on and uh…
please your own poose
yeah please your own poose.
oh hell yeah.
*break*
please your own poose, slut.
Well those are two.
Might throw some harmonica into there.
Who fuckin' knows?
I'm off to go work on my poser strut.
Too cool.