Of all the ridiculous scams in the big city, the gypsy fortune teller has to be in the top ten dumbass hustles ever. Who the fuck in his right mind would pay some douchebag his hard-earned cash to predict the future? Only a total moron.
Well anyway…I raise this subject because more than once, I've found my customers have gypsy fortune teller neighbors. And whenever it happens, I'm always amused. I have this fantasy wherein I walk in the wrong door by mistake and find some dildo intently listening to what his future will bring. Patiently waiting for a lull in the con, I dive in to tell the hapless loser: "Yo Bubba! Here's what your immediate future holds. I predict that if you knock on the door one floor below and hand the pretty girl who answers $200, you're gonna get a little therapy for your muscle! And here's another prediction: If you keep coming back to see this supposed soothsayer, you're gonna run out of money and still not know what your future holds!"
I feel sorry for my current client whose neighbor is a gypsy fortune teller. The fucking woman hangs out all day in front of the building sitting on a folding chair hawking her bull shit with her bastard kids running around all over the place. What the hell kind of environment is that for a building housing a fine upstanding ho house? As in…"Bitch! We're trying to run a dignified business here and we got you and your kids running this bull shit hustle. You're making us look bad!"
A while back, I had this sexxxy black client with a big ass. Man! That girl was hot! One day she asked if I knew a good lawyer. So I turned her on to the local ambulance chaser and why did my client seek his counsel? Take a wild guess! She'd blown thousands of dollars on (hello) a gypsy fortune teller…and wanted him to sue the bitch because none of the bull shit came true. What a fucking dumbbell! And you know what? He actually got a settlement for the girl. The fucking fortune teller gave some of the money back!
Imagine the stupid stories I'd have for y'all if my client base were a bunch of fortune tellers advertising on the web and in The Voice. No doubt, I'd be an encyclopedia of anecdotes about knuckleheads who forked over thousands to fortune tellers who were well aware they were about as able to predict the future as the cockroach crawling around on your bathroom floor. At least with my current customers, the great majority deliver their service as promised. But a gypsy fortune teller? Get the fuck outta here with that garbage! And fold up that chair and get away from the front of the building ya fuckin' whore! Let the K-girls upstairs make an honest living!
For more raging insanity, go to my blog www.dbpr.us which has over 1100 equally lame entries!