Saturday night, I realized that (sin of all sins), I was out of beer. So I left my girlfriend masturbating to internet porn, and went up to the local food store. At this little house of prepackaged foodish like stuff, located behind the counter, was a thin, flat-chested (though exceptionally cute) punk girl, who wore a black shirt bearing the following message, written in white lettering:
Saturday night, I realized that (sin of all sins), I was out of beer. So I left my girlfriend masturbating to internet porn, and went up to the local food store. At this little house of prepackaged foodish like stuff, located behind the counter, was a thin, flat-chested (though exceptionally cute) punk girl, who wore a black shirt bearing the following message, written in white lettering:
“Without challenging social norms, there will never be progress.”
So I said to this young lady, “Does your boyfriend ever use that line to get you to do stuff in bed? Like, if he wants anal, does he ever tell you that your relationship won’t progress if you two don’t challenge social norms?”
Now, everyone in line behind me lost their collective shit. I was high-fived by three total strangers and there was much laughter. But, that wasn’t the coolest part. The coolest part was this: she actually blushed.
I hadn’t seen anyone blush in awhile. I’d almost forgotten that members of our society were even capable of doing it. And, I realized I enjoyed making and watching that clerk blush.
(Side note: I don’t know why I enjoyed it. Mark Twain once said something to the effect of, “the human animal is the only animal that can blush.” Maybe I enjoy human beings expressing how different they are than animals. More likely though, I’m just weird and this is just another stupid quirk of mine.)
So, now I have a new mission in life. My new mission in life is to make as many women blush as humanly possible. You gotta have goals.
And yes, I will keep you updated on the results of this mission, tentatively titled, “Operation Red Face.”
Wish me luck.