Help Me, Rhonda

Rhonda, you have got to help me.  My girlfriend left me with a broken heart, half a bottle of Beam, and a pedal-steel guitar.  That's why I have placed this booty call, Rhonda.  Rhonda, you have to help me get her out of my heart.  We could take a long walk on the beach.  Or, we could see an art-house flick at the retro theater.  But at some point in the evening, the time will come for you to  help me.  The only way to help me is by doing certain things.  You know, the things me girlfriend used to do.  You have to do those things, but it will be different.  And after, I'm sure I'll see this whole breakup situation in much better perspective.  That is why I need you to help me, Rhonda.  I will be waiting in front of your apartment tomorrow at nine, in my tinted-out Mustang.  When we begin to talk, you will realize how badly I need your companionship.  At the same time, I will flatter you with discreet compliments.  We can drive around for a while.  When we get back to my house, that is the time for you to help me.