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You know people, I try to be modest, but it seems I continually out-do myself. As you can clearly see… I finally got the mirror colored eye dye. That's right, girl's will be adjusting their hair in them… it's brilliant. What better way is there to remind them of their flaws and make them insecure right before i lay my lines down… power lines baby… 100,000 volts. I wouldn't stand in that puddle if I were you. Too bad it's your own urine, boyfriend… she's my gal now. Just kidding guys, they are my really vain, huge aviator sunglasses that I wear when I'm feeling vulnerable… like when I admit my vulnerability.
TA-DA I shaved my beard into a biker ‘stache! Wait I mean I DYED it BLONDE! What can I say, Hogan knows best. Is it cute? Is it endearing? Is it out of place? most definitely… but I think it rocks. And it's just one more feature I'm adding on in my quest to drive away every girl possible… Trust me, I'm more successful than you think.
Also I took off my shirt.