I believe that on a fairly regular basis, I look like Hell. I know this because on a fairly regular basis, someone tells me as much… Today in particular, it was myself as I looked at my reflection.
Let me clarify. I don't mean the drab-just-threw-on-some-old-clothes kind of hell, you know the way sorority girls will wear some ridiculously unflattering attire that is deemed acceptable because it has foreign letters that aren't Chinese or Arabic, usually two to three in succession, with some “clever” tagline that asserts how sexy… but not promiscuous… they are.*
On that note, I don't mean to say that women's sole purpose should be to look good. When Men get lazy, it's called Rugged. We have it easy. I just know that when girls have a “casual” day it still takes them an hour to get ready. Maybe they could use that time instead to reconsider looking like moms at Disney World.
But back to me. Between my heavy eyelids, and alternating stubble/full-on hobo beard, and morning frown, I look like something between a grad student and a syndicated newspaper funnies character who's been recycling the same “tired” premise for 30 years.
After seeing myself today, I understand why people are constantly saying “You look tired!” followed by wincing eye-roll. Sometimes people just look at me and yawn. Even when I so sneak a nap in before… or during… my second class, that only seems to aggravate the problem. You can now add tousled sleep hair, and drool stains to your previous mental image.
You know what else is funny, sleep hair is pretty much identical to sex hair. And yet, somehow people never high-five me in the morning, nor ask to be my apprentice, nor hand me the condom from their wallet with a wink and a “You need it more than I, dude.”
So yeah, I look bad… a lot… and I'm not the only one to notice. But I don't know I think that I kind of pull it off. Hear me out on this. I predict that “Overworked” will be the new look in 2007.
So Ladies, you no longer need to pity me, for I am a visionary.
* In Texas, where it still reaches low 80's in November, somehow every girl has found the exact pair of nike running shorts. It's like they know they're going to be running circles in my heads. It's just too bad those shorts aren't attractive.